Page 9 of The Sins of Noelle

My fists clench by my side as it dawns on me just how much of a stranger the woman in front of me is. At the same time, though, I realize that the only way to beat her at this game is to truly show her she cannot control me—not with her body, nor with these petty tactics.

So I don't move.

I push back against the treacherous sensations she elicits off my body as I concentrate all my willpower towards not coming. Even if her mouth is a hot, wet heaven; even if it's been almost a week since I've last been inside of her, I won't give her that satisfaction.

She brings her gaze to mine, her lips wrapped around the head of my cock as she flutters her lashes seductively. Her tongue swirls around the underside, making it increasingly harder to maintain my composure.

"Are you done?" I ask in a bored tone.

Her brows furrow at my question and she draws back, my cock falling from her mouth and leaving a trail of saliva behind.

"Raf…"

I don't let her continue as I grab her chin between my fingers, jolting her towards me.

"Do you think this is going to magically solve anything?" I ask as I look her straight in the eye, my gaze as unyielding as my tone.

Her eyes are so damn clear and beautiful, reminding me once more of the ruse she'd played on me, pretending to be some goddamn pure little angel when all along she'd been the devil in disguise.

She licks her lips as she looks at me, not daring to reply.

"You're pathetic if you think a pity fuck would solve anything," I shake my head at her.

"Pity…Pity fuck?" she repeats incredulously.

"What else could it be when I can barely stand the sight of you?"

She blinks, pain entering her gaze, and fuck if that doesn't affect me.

Why the hell do I have to be so weak when it comes to her? Even knowing all that she's done and it still cuts me on the inside to see her hurt.

"I'll take it," she whispers. "Pity fuck or not, I'll take it. I'll be as pathetic as you want me to be. I'll beg on my knees. I'll do anything… Just don't send me away. Don't…" her breath hitches as she tries her best to keep her tears at bay.

"Fucking hell! Do you have no pride, woman?" I ask in disgust as her words sink in.

"No," she states confidently. "When it comes to you, I don't."

Her statement takes me by surprise. Then it angers me.

So this is how she thinks she'll solve everything? By offering to be my fucktoy?

Bitter laugh bubbles inside of me.

She doesn't realize what she did wrong because she doesn't see it as wrong. By her own admission, she'd do it all over again. And now she thinks that if she prostrates herself at my feet I'll forget all about it and resume our relationship as it was before.

Yet, the biggest question is… What did we even have before? If everything was based on lies, was it even real?

My anger mounts at the situation, regret and despair mingling inside of me at realizing the most beautiful thing in my life had been nothing more than a lie.

A fucking shameless lie.

And as if I were back to the moment I found out about everything, I feel as though the rug's been swept from beneath my feet, confusion swirling in my mind as well as a deep regret.

After I escaped the hacienda, I had one purpose—get revenge on those who wronged me. More than anything, I wanted to avenge what I believed to be the death of my beloved. Once that goal disappeared, I focused on Noelle as my entire reason for being, her happiness my happiness, her mere presence the only impetus I needed to live. When you remove all that…

I'm left with nothing. Fucking nothing.

And it's my fault as well as hers because I should have never made her the entire reason for my existence. I should have never fucking put her on a pedestal, worshipping her rather than loving her.

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