Page 62 of The Sins of Noelle

The moment she opened the door, though, the first thing that caught her eye was the hair pin. The feather hair pin Ann Marie had given her.

"Do it. Kill me. It will only turn me into a martyr and you into an insane little girl who wasn't enough. Who will never be enough."

The words resounded in her head as she remembered the moment right before Ann Marie had died.

"I'll be the sacrifice and you'll forever be the lunatic who murdered me," she'd continued in an ominous tone. She'd taunted the girl, hoping to break her. Ironically enough, it had happened the other way around.

Noelle was the lunatic, and Ann Marie was the sanctified victim in the entire debacle—the innocent little lamb who'd succumbed to Noelle's vicious words.

Yet there was one gimmer of truth. Beyond all the unfounded insults thrown at Noelle, there was the unwavering reality that Ann Marie's death had not exactly been a suicide.

When her words had not worked, Noelle had realized Ann Marie had one goal, and one goal only.

To kill her.

She was too far gone in her hate and in her warped perceptions. She'd set out to kill Noelle and she was well on her way to do it.

And she would have succeeded had it not been for Noelle's quick thinking.

She'd leaned in and whispered all of the things Ann Marie would never be, striking her where it hurt. The moment she'd noted a reaction out of Ann Marie, her focus momentarily off, Noelle had pushed the gun away from her and towards Ann Marie.

They'd been so close that it had been entirely too easy to tip the barrel of the gun towards her face rather than Noelle's. And as soon as Ann Marie had noticed that, her finger had instinctively pressed down on the trigger, the bullet catching her in her jaw and blowing through her skull.

Noelle had been hit by the combination of bone and bodily fluids, and though it had hurt a little on impact, it had been nothing compared to what could have happened to her had she not moved the gun in time.

Thomas' shot had been fortuitous, but as Noelle remembered it, a few seconds too late.

Her entire body started trembling as she took a seat on her bed. Clenching her fists, she took a deep breath as she tried to regain control.

She had killed her—Ann Marie.

Yes, it had been a life and death situation. But Noelle had purposefully chosen herself over Ann Marie. She'd been in complete control, maneuvering the situation in her favor.

Did that make her a bad person?

She didn't know. And that was the crux of the issue.

Already one week had passed since the disaster from Carnegie Hall and she still did not know how to feel—or how to process what had happened.

She did feel revolted for the way she'd been portrayed online and maligned on social media. Thatpissedher off.

But guilt…where was the guilt?

She knew there had to be some guilt—neededit to be there. Yet she couldn't find it in her to be sorry.

She'd chosen herself. Like she'd always done before. She'd put herself first.

There had been a time when she'd tried to get to the bottom of it, asking herself why would she do that considering her life was far from perfect? That she barely had anyone cheering her in her corner. Ann Marie, on the other hand, had that in spades.

Noelle knew the girl had plenty of friends, and from what she'd observed, she was very well liked. The exact opposite of Noelle.

So what madehermore worthy of living than Ann Marie?

Why had she chosen herself?

The more she thought about it, the more she realized she didn'tneedany external factors to be worthy. She didn't need others' validation to be a complete human being.

Noelle had always been on her own. She'd never had friends, and she'd never been liked by people. Still, that hadn't changed her own view of herself.

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