Page 146 of The Counterfeit Lover

In a way it helped that their friendship was purely platonic, and that he didn't see herthatway. He was simply content to have another human being by his side, someone with whom he could share his thoughts and worries.

Slowly, he sought to forget his former best friend.

Like Sisi had said about her Vlad. Maybe it wasn't meant to be.

He told himself that until he truly believed it.

His parents, seeing him hanging out at the Lastra house so much, delighted in the potential connection with Sisi's family. His mother, too, was doing better and Raf was happy he wasn't a burden to her anymore.

Yet things weren't going exactly smoothly.

Not when Sisi came to the grim conclusion that she was pregnant. Out of wedlock. With a traditional Italian family.

So Raf did what any gentleman would. He offered to marry her.

From the beginning, he didn't expect a true marriage, his previous dreams of agreatlove long dead. But he knew they could have a pleasant companionship—friendship. How many people could claim that?

In marrying her, he would both protect Sisi and get his parents off his back—this time permanently. He still had no idea that this was exactly what Benedicto and Cosima wanted, if only to get him elected for the head of the family position. Though he recognized a connection with Lastra would help Guerra, he didn't realize the full ramifications of his decision.

Even so, he was ready to face the consequences.

For the first time, he wanted to man up and be responsible, for himself and his future family. He might not love Sisi, or even feel attracted to her, but that only meant they would have a strictly platonic marriage. It didn't mean he couldn't take his role as husband and father seriously.

His decision made; he could only hope for the best.

Benedicto and Cosima insisted on a quick wedding, wanting to make sure Raf wouldn't back out of it. But both Raf and Sisi were fine with it, since that would ensure Sisi didn't start showing before the wedding.

Yet just as Raf got used to the idea of becoming a father, Sisi miscarried.

She was devastated. He didn't know how to help.

Overnight, she became a completely different person, and though he asked her if she wanted to break the engagement, she remained staunch in her answer.

They would marry.

And so, the wedding day came.

No one besides Raf's parents and Sisi's siblings was happy about it.

Even Raf became increasingly nervous as he stood in front of the altar, waiting for Sisi to walk down the aisle. He kept questioning if he was doing the right thing—if maybe,maybe, he was depriving himself of something vital in the future. He didn't believe in divorce. For him, marriage was forever.

He'd always wanted a love match. From the beginning, he'd dreamed of his dream girl—a faceless, formless person who would be his in all ways. He didn't know what she looked like, but when he closed his eyes, he imagined someone like curiouscat.

Funny how he hadn't thought about her in a long time. Yet as Sisi walked towards him all draped in white, a forced smile on her face, he could only think of yellow. OfCadmiumQuercitronto his fancy violet.

He tapped his foot restlessly against the floor, sweat beading his forehead.

"Damn it, Raf. Calm down," his father whispered from behind.

He swallowed hard.

He couldn't calm down. Especially as Sisi stopped at his side, a tremulous smile on her lips as she hooked her arm through his.

The priest began talking, the words ringing in his ears, dimming and dimming until he couldn't follow what was being said anymore.

He couldn't do it.

He couldn't go through it. It was the most disappointing realization, because he would be breaking the trust of his dear friend. Yet he couldn't…

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