Page 61 of Eight Years Gone

“I burned it.”

She blinked her horror. “Why, Jagger? Why would you do that to yourself?”

“Because what I did was dangerous. More often than not, we were behind enemy lines, which meant we were on our own. If a mission went sideways and I would have gotten captured… If they ever would have found out who I was… I never wanted anything I was doing coming back on you. If I wanted to keep you safe, I had to let you go.”

She flinched at his words, blinking back tears as she tried to get up.

“Grace.” He locked his arms tightly around her, rolling her back under him.

She turned her head away, closing her eyes as her tears fell. “Jagger, get off.”

He gently trailed kisses along her jaw. “Not until you understand that there was nothing more important to me than keeping you safe.”

His mouth moved closer to her ear. “You haunted me, Gracie. Every minute of every day.”

She shook her head, not so sure she believed him. Because if she’d had any idea of where he’d been over the last eight years, she would have gone to him. She wouldn’t have been able to stop herself.

“Every minute,” he repeated.

She looked at him now. “You moved on.”

It was his turn to shake his head as he brushed the dampness off her skin. “I knew the minute I came stateside I would come find you. After I saw you in the park, I couldn’t stay away.”

“But you’ve had other partners. You’ve had other relationships.”

“Sometimes sex is just sex—a release.”

Was that supposed to make his moving on sting any less?

“I had one partner—a friends-with-benefits situation for a couple of years. Jana. We were in somewhat similar situations. She’d left a guy behind when she joined up, so we chose to be miserable together. She got out right around the same time I did. She came home. I went into private contracting. From what I hear, they got married last year. I think they’re expecting a baby.”

Grace swallowed, not so sure that she wanted to hear about Jagger’s friend-with-benefits arrangement. “Let’s get up—eat something.”

Jagger pushed her deeper into the mattress. “Tell me what you’re thinking.”

She lifted her chin, narrowing her eyes, hating that she was trapped. “I think this isn’t fair—you using your body weight to keep me here like this.”

He nodded. “I’m willing to risk dirty tactics because I know that if I let you go, this conversation will be over. Tell me what you’re thinking, Grace.”

Not all that long ago, he already would have known. But that wasn’t the way things were anymore. “All right. I don’t like your buddy. I don’t like any of it. You burned your skin, picked a new partner, and turned the page.”

His brow furrowed. “I didn’t walk away and brush off my hands. Nothing about being away from you has been easy. I could barely stand the idea of you moving on—of anyone else touching you.”

He cupped her face between his hands. “I’m sorry, Grace. I’m sorry for so many things—for messing everything up.”

She sighed because being angry and jealous changed nothing. She still felt what she felt, but it helped no one. “You were trying to make a new life. We both were.”

He stroked her skin. “You’ve made something amazing for yourself. Simplicity is so streamlined, and your house is beautiful.”

“Thank you.” She covered his hand with hers. “I needed this place—this project. I wanted something that was entirely my own. I bought it three years ago. My mom left money for Logan and me that I never knew about. We were supposed to be granted access to it on our twenty-fifth birthdays. I didn’t want to spend it at first. It felt wrong—like what was meant for Logan shouldn’t be mine.”

Jagger nodded his understanding.

“I was so torn until Aunt Maggie asked me what she thought my mom and Logan would want. I know they would want me to be happy, so I dove into making this place. Everything had to be completely redone.”

His gaze traveled around the room. “It has a good feel to it—comfortable and cozy. Really homey.”

She smiled. “That was the goal.” She looked toward the French doors. “You’ll have to take a look at the back when the sun comes up. Getting the yard into shape was a project. I made a space for them—for Mom and Logan. I rarely go to Philly where they’re buried, so I like to have a spot for them right here where I can sit and remember them.”

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