Page 69 of The Husband Game

Bridget’s gaze was kind as she listened and took notes but Charlie felt very silly when he had to explain the hasty Vegas marriage and PR plan to her.

“I know this is probably, uh, not the best,” he said with an awkward laugh.

She gave him a curious look. “What makes you say that?”

“I mean, fake marriages are probably not part of a therapeutic plan.”

She chuckled. “No, they aren’t. If a client asked if I thought it was an ideal choice, I certainly wouldn’t encourage it. But I regularly work with clients who are dealing with unusual and difficult situations in their lives. My concern is more about how you manage it than what it is.”

“That makes sense.”

“Do you feel the abrupt life changes are impacting your eating habits?”

“Some,” Charlie admitted. “The first week or two were really rough. Anxiety makes my throat close up and I can’t swallow anything.”

“Can you tell me why you were feeling anxious?”

“Well, um, I mean the whole situation was so new. And I didn’t know Dustin at all or if I could trust him, you know?”

She nodded. “Have you shared anything about your eating disorder with him?”

Charlie recoiled. “God, no.”

“You seem to have strong feelings about the idea. Can you tell me more about why you feel that way?”

“Uhh.” Charlie wrinkled his nose. “I hardly know him. There’s no way in hell I’m telling him about that.”

“I understand it takes time to trust someone with vulnerable things.”

“Exactly,” Charlie said, relieved she understood. “Plus, I—I want this ridiculous marriage to be my chance to get away from my past, you know? I want to feel like I have a fresh start.”

Her smile was understanding. “Do you feel like you have to leave your past behind to get a fresh start?”

Charlie let out a little hum. “No. Not completely. I mean, my bestie Taylor and I are never gonna lose touch. He’s seen me at my worst and I don’t want to cut him out of my life like I did my parents. Now that I’m in Toronto, Tay and I do our weekly video chats, so that’s great. Sometimes his boyfriend, Jamie, and Jamie’s daughter, Ava, pop in for a little bit too, which I love. I’ve texted some with Taylor’s parents and we spoke on the phone for a while the other day. But I think overall, getting some space from my previous life could be really good, you know? It feels nice that Dustin doesn’t know all about what a mess I’ve been in the past.”

“What I’m hearing is that it makes you uncomfortable to have anyone see you at less than your best. Is that accurate?”

“Uhh.” Charlie sighed. “Yeah. Pretty much. I … I think when I feel like such a mess on the inside, it’s hard to feel confident. But if I look good, then I feel good, you know? Plus, my mom was all about looking perfectly put together all of the time and I’m trying to move past that but it’s hard.”

She nodded. “That’s not uncommon with eating disorders. Do you feel your mother loves herself internally? Who she is as a person, as opposed to on the outside?”

“No.” Charlie shook his head. “Not even a little bit.”

“What about you? Do you love yourself?”

“I’m trying,” he admitted. “I love myself a whole lot more than I did a few years ago. I’m finding out I’m stronger than I thought. And I’m capable of handling more than I realized.”

Her smile was soft. “I think that’s a fantastic sign of growth.”

He swallowed past the lump in his throat. “I’m really trying,”

“That’s great.” She glanced over at a small clock. “So, our time is winding down for this session. Is there anything you’d like to work on in particular this week, before I see you again?”

“Um, just trying to stay on a regular eating schedule,” he admitted. “I took over the cooking and that’s helped. I feel comfortable when it’s food I prepare and I’m able to enjoy eating it a lot more.”

“Do you have any specific goals of how much you want to eat? Or what types of food?”

He winced. “That hasn’t worked great for me in the past. I really liked the intuitive eating I tried before. Learning to trust my body. Enjoying the process of cooking. Eating slowly and savoring the tastes and textures. I did my best when I was focused on that.”

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