Page 157 of The Husband Game

“I’m glad you had Taylor.”

“Me too. And his family is great. They’re the ones I paid off with the money you gave me. It was a … a whole thing earlier this year. Taylor had, well, he was trying to help but he took on a lot of my medical bills and didn’t tell me. He wound up in debt and I landed in the hospital and it all kinda came out in a big messy fashion. So his parents paid off the debt and I agreed to pay them back. I hated taking money from people I love but it was better than him fucking up his life because of me.”

“He obviously cares about you.”

“He does,” Charlie said thickly. “And I love the fuck out of him too. But he hovers and sometimes it makes it worse for me. Knowing people are watching every morsel I put in my mouth. Even when I’m not counting my calorie intake, they are.”

“What else can I do to make this easier for you?”

“It’s not your job.”

“No, it isn’t. I know I can’t fix any of this for you. That’s on you. But if there’s anything I can do that will help or at least not make it worse, I’d like to do that. You … God, you have put your entire life on hold to help me out and I know this must have added a lot of stress to your life.”

Charlie pursed his lips. “In some ways, yes.”

Dustin took a moment to think before he spoke, making sure his words came out right.

“I care about you, Charlie. Even more than I expected to when we started this. You were so prickly and difficult at first and I get it now. But I could always see what an incredible and interesting person you are and I … I’m drawn to that. I have been since the beginning. I know this eating disorder, it’s your fight. I can’t fight it for you. But if you’ll let me, I can have your back while you go to battle.”

Even in the dim light, Dustin could see the tears that spilled down Charlie’s cheeks. He squeezed his eyes shut. “I’d really like that,” he finally said with a soft sob.

“Oh, kitten.” Dustin reached out. “C’mere. I want to hold you, if that’s okay.”

“Please,” he whispered. “Please. I want that so much.”

Dustin settled on his back, pulling Charlie into a tight embrace. He settled over Dustin’s lap, looped his arms around Dustin’s neck, and hung on.

He cried a little, nearly silent shivering quakes that shook his body and wet Dustin’s neck.

So Dustin squeezed more tightly, trying to show Charlie he wasn’t going to let go. Not now. Not ever. Not unless Charlie asked him to.

Eventually, those tremors settled and Charlie let out a tired sigh, shifting so his cheek was pressed to Dustin’s chest.

Dustin rubbed his back in slow, sweeping strokes and Charlie eventually melted against him.

“I’m sorry I dumped that all on you, especially when you were having a rough night,” Charlie said quietly.

“No. Don’t be. I’m glad you told me about your eating disorder,” Dustin whispered. He pressed a kiss to Charlie’s forehead.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. I want to know all of you. The good, the bad, and the ugly.”

“I … I want that too. That’s why I told you. Because I could see you shutting down and pulling away and I thought … I thought maybe if I was vulnerable with you, you’d do the same. I want us to support each other.”

“Thank you,” Dustin whispered. “That means so much to me.”

He thought about all of his previous relationships and he suddenly knew why they’d failed. He’d retreated. He’d pulled away when he was stressed or going through a tough time and never let anyone get close enough to help.

He’d never wanted to let them close. But Charlie … Dustin wanted Charlie to be as close as possible.

He wanted this marriage to be as real as possible. As honest and committed and deep as any out there.

“It’s been a rough start to the season,” Dustin admitted. “And I’m struggling. I want to be a good leader for this team but I’m terrified I don’t have what it takes.”

Charlie wove their fingers together and squeezed. “Maybe you need to take a lesson from what you told me. If I don’t have to be perfect, neither do you.”

Dustin opened his mouth, prepared to argue that it was different when it came to his team. But … but that was stupid, wasn’t it? He didn’t expect his guys to be perfect. They all had off days. He’d tried to be understanding when they did. And yes, he had responsibilities they didn’t and it was going to take him a long time to let go of the regret that he hadn’t caught what was going on with Felix.

---