Page 153 of The Husband Game

“What about Zane Murphy?”

“I hate to bug him. He’s retired and rehabbing from his hip surgery.”

Privately, Charlie thought he’d probably be even more available to listen but what did he know?

He fell silent, wracking his brain for some other ideas.

He opened his mouth to ask about Jamie but Dustin spoke first.

“God, Charlie, you’re a great husband, you know that? I bet you’ll be even more amazing with someone you actually want to be married to.” He let out a tired sigh.

That bruised feeling in Charlie’s chest increased and he felt an unexpected sting of tears behind his eyelids.

He wanted to say, “I do want to be married to you,” but the words wouldn’t come and all he could manage was to duck his head and press his forehead to Dustin’s shoulder.

CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN

Dustin had begun to drift off when Charlie spoke.

“Hey, I need to tell you something,” he whispered urgently.

“Now?” Dustin blinked, his eyes gritty, mentally and physically exhausted and wrung out from the shitty night.

He should go up to bed but Charlie was in his arms and it felt like too much work to climb two flights of stairs.

“Yeah.” Charlie swallowed hard, rising on one elbow to look down at him. “This is a terrible time, I know that, but you said you want people to feel like they can trust you and I want you to know that I trust you.”

Dustin frowned, his brain still a little sluggish. He wished he could see Charlie’s face better but the pool was behind him and his face was mostly in shadow. “Yeah of course. What is it?”

“I’m a recovering anorexic,” Charlie said softly. “Although recovering might be a little generous right now. I’ve been struggling.”

Dustin grimaced, suddenly awake and alert. “I … I know.”

“What?” Charlie sat up straight. “Who told you?”

“No one. I slowly put the pieces together myself once you moved here. I’ve been warring with myself about whether or not to say anything to you about it. On the one hand, I wanted you to come to me with it voluntarily. But on the other, I was genuinely getting worried. I desperately hoped you’d trust me enough to open up because I want to listen and support you.”

“I wanted to tell you before now,” Charlie said quietly. “It was just hard. How … how did you figure it out?”

Dustin sighed. “You eat very lightly. You get extremely unhappy and tense around food. And you’ve been working out a ton lately. So have I, but I’m also consuming enough calories to balance that out. Charlie, I know what disordered eating looks like. My sister is a figure skater, remember?”

“Emily has an eating disorder?” Charlie whispered, sounding stricken. “Oh no. I didn’t know her very well but she always seemed so lovely, inside and out. She was so fierce competing, but always smiling and laughing during practice. I thought she looked like someone I’d want to be friends with. Gah. That makes me so sad for her.”

Dustin shook his head, reaching out to grab Charlie’s hand. “Oh. No. Not Emily. But a close friend of ours. Em and I have talked about it a ton. Especially because hockey players can have some pretty fucked-up eating habits too. Just … trust me when I say I get it. At least as much as someone without personal experience can understand.”

“Oh, okay,” Charlie said slowly. He was trembling a little. “I am sorry about your friend then. It’s … it’s rough. And well, I know better than anyone.”

Dustin reached out and took his hand. “I’m happy to listen to anything you want to tell me about what you’ve dealt with.”

“I’ve struggled with the disorder on and off for years. It’s why I quit skating. I was doing better since then but I had a bad relapse last winter.”

“I’m sorry to hear that.”

Charlie was silent for a few moments. “My—my heart was damaged.”

Dustin frowned. “Are we talking literally or like … metaphorically here?”

Charlie let out a surprised laugh. “Uh, both, I guess? A breakup kinda triggered the first bad bout with the eating disorder a few years ago and it weakened my heart. Not horribly. It was caught before it got bad and the heart is elastic so with time it will heal. Last year’s relapse wasn’t good but it wasn’t catastrophic at least. Mostly my blood pressure is a little low but they said if the severe calorie restriction continued much longer, it would have been a lot worse.”

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