Page 152 of The Husband Game

Charlie’s heart ached at how defeated Dustin sounded.

“I—I’m supposed to see what’s happening with my team. I’m supposed to look out for them, show them I’m here for them. And now I’ve let someone else down. Felix is a mess and I … I could have stopped this all from happening.”

“I think you’re being a little hard on yourself,” Charlie said quietly. “Maybe, in hindsight, it seems like you could have spotted it, but people are so good at hiding things when they want to. And you have to admit men are kinda the worst, right?”

Dustin sighed heavily. “Yeah, we are. And hockey players are especially good at hiding shit. I can be a little too good at that myself. But like … I know this guy. I should have been able to see how badly Felix was hurting. He—he was in a bad place over his breakup and he needed someone to be there for him and I …”

Dustin’s voice broke and he turned his face away.

Charlie felt a tenderness behind his breastbone, an aching, bruise-like feeling he didn’t quite know what to do with.

“Hey,” he said softly, stroking his fingertips across Dustin’s shoulder. “This sucks. But it could have been so much worse. He wasn’t seriously injured and he didn’t hurt anyone else.”

“Yeah, but he could have.”

“He could have,” Charlie agreed. “But he didn’t. What good is it going to do anyone if you dwell on all of the things that could have gone wrong? They didn’t. Be grateful for that.”

“I am. I …”

“You just like to beat yourself up about not being perfect,” Charlie said lightly.

Dustin let out a quiet groan. “I do. I know I do. But …”

“But what?” Charlie asked, bumping his forehead against Dustin’s broad shoulder. “But it’s hard to stop? I know all about that.”

“Yeah but …”

“Yeah, but you’re the team captain? You’re supposed to lead by example? You’re supposed to be above reproach?”

“Well, kind of.”

“That’s a big burden to carry.”

“But I signed up for it. I wanted the responsibility. I don’t know how to balance it with everything else, you know?” Dustin shifted, angling his body toward Charlie a little more until they were face to face, legs tangled together. “I feel like a fucking failure.”

“You’re absolutely not a failure.”

“Maybe people don’t feel like they can talk to me,” he said with a tired sigh. “I want them to see that I’m trustworthy but …”

“Is there someone you can talk to about this?”

“I’m talking to you, aren’t I?”

“You are,” Charlie agreed, tightening his grip around Dustin’s waist, and resting his cheek on Dustin’s upper arm. “And I’m glad. Really glad. I’m happy to listen. I—I think maybe someone else could maybe be more help though. Maybe someone who has been in your position might be able to offer more. Do you know any other team captains?”

“Sure. I know pretty much all of the guys in the league.”

“But are they guys you’d feel comfortable opening up to about stuff like this?”

“I don’t know …” Dustin sounded a bit reluctant.

“You said you want your team to come to you when they need something, yeah? To know you’re ready to listen?”

“Of course.”

“Don’t you think there are probably people who would be willing to do that for you? What about your coach? He seems like a nice guy. Like someone who would listen.”

“Casey would …” Dustin sounded reluctant though. “I think he’s too close to the situation.”

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