Page 45 of Binding Their Hearts

“I will, yes.” Henry cut his French toast into neat bite-size pieces as he ate.

Jay stuffed a quarter-slice loaded down with crunchy nuts and granola smack into his mouth, trying to catch up to the clock. Alice would have to grab the trolley soon, but she wasn’t even eating, just looking at Henry. Jay chewed. Henry ate three smaller pieces in a row.

“Hmph.” Finally breaking her stare, Alice picked up her fork and knife. “Whatever these tokens are, you already have them in the works.”

Henry’s eyes gleamed, and his approving smile peeked out. “Clever minx. I may have spoken to a friend yesterday.”

Okay, that was stuff he should be logging. “Can I be excused for a minute? I want to snag my phone so I can start a wedding list.”

Henry granted approval, and Jay dug through the couch cushions. The phone had gotten wedged between two last night, waiting to bring him word from Alice. Pulling up the notes app, he slid back into his chair and jotted: Collars or whatever—Henry.

“Got it. You’re down for the symbols of our everlasting love.” He gazed up at the ceiling and fluttered his hands over his heart, stopping only when he’d won a snort-laugh from Alice. “About the other stuff…”

He typed with one hand and ate with the other, listing the things familiar from weddings he’d attended. Invitations, flowers, catering, music—this was gonna be a lot of decisions, and he’d never attended a collaring ceremony. Did they have different rules?

“One other request, if the two of you will indulge me.” Henry waited for full attention from both of them, forks and phone down. “I should like to choose our officiant.”

He for sure hadn’t said something about a fishy aunt.

Alice shrugged. “No problem here. Whoever you want to do the honors is fine by me.”

Aha. Saved by the Alice. “That’s the minister or whoever?”

“A whoever in this case, yes.”

Made sense—ministers who blessed unions like theirs would be hard to come by. At least Henry knew a guy. Henry pretty much knew a guy or gal for everything. Jay scooped up the phone and typed “not-minister” on the list. “Kay, hit me.”

“I had thought to ask Will.”

“You don’t want him for your best man?” Alice got the question out first, but the surprise belonged to both of them.

Henry glanced at Alice first, then him, with unreadable calm. “Perhaps we forgo attendants? Their presence is not integral to the ceremony.” He went back to his meal, preparing a bite on his fork. Alice copied Henry, listening but eating, too. “We’ll have the three of us and the officiant and our guests. We needn’t obscure their view with a crowd.”

All of that was true. Jay sliced and chewed and waited for the nagging thought in his head to form up into something thinkable. If they each kept it to one best person, three people would hardly be a crowd. Henry would have Master Will, and he and Alice would—oh.

“No attendants, check.” With a silly swooping flourish, he noted the decision on the list. He could’ve asked one of the guys from basketball—Charlie, or maybe Ty or Daniel—but he didn’t have the deep bench of friends that Henry did, and neither did Alice. Not people they were out to, anyway. They’d have to pick someone they’d only known a few months. That wouldn’t be special or meaningful. “And minister duty is yours.”

He marked it off and laid the phone facedown on the table. Here came the real test, the one he’d mentally rehearsed while he pulled on his clothes. “Let me handle everything else.”

Henry met Jay’s eyes over the rim of his teacup. He sipped slowly, thoughtfully, scrutinizing Jay like a package with indecipherable handwriting for the address.

A glob of syrup fell from Alice’s fork, but her napkin caught it. “Everything? You want to plan our wedding?”

“I do.” Giving the words the formal intonation of a groom, he waggled his eyebrows at her and scored an actual laugh. Henry would be harder to charm. “See, I’ve got that part nailed already.”

“Such an undertaking demands an astonishing number of decisions, down to the smallest details. You’re certain you wish to take it on unilaterally?” Henry’s attention peeled back Jay’s clothes and left him naked. Good thing he’d had lots of practice with that. Naked in front of Henry quieted his mind and body better than anything else he’d found.

“I’m not saying I want to be in charge of more things, not like you two are.” Therapy hadn’t given him a desire to challenge his partners’ control. The ceremony mattered, though, in ways he lacked words for. Committing his life to Henry and Alice meant stepping up and contributing, not coasting along while they climbed the steep hills.

“But I’m a service submissive.” When he scraped away layers of shame and guilt in his sessions, that gem sat at the core. Being true to himself required showing his love through his service. “I want you to see what I’m capable of. I want to see what I’m capable of. I need to show I can be responsible, that you can depend on me to do things right.”

He’d figured he’d be taking on tasks Henry was already planning to do himself in the next few weeks. Sharing the load, not adding to it by forcing Henry and Alice to hold the ceremony on a tight timeline. His brilliant plan was supposed to reduce their stress.

“To show us—” A furrow creased Alice’s forehead. Stretching down the table, she wrapped her hand around his fingers and squeezed with fierce energy. “Jay, you run your own business. And you’re ridiculously intuitive. I wish I had half your emotional sensitivity. No one here doubts that you’re capable.”

She was so confident. In herself, in him—he let his hair fall forward and studied the woodgrain in the breakfast bar chairs. His neediness ran ludicrously deep. Irrationally deep and coated in shame. He was a thirty-year-old man who craved approval like a toddler. A man who couldn’t stop answering the damn phone when his sister called to take her anger out on him.

“Is that true, Jay?” Henry’s voice floated lighter than a dandelion puff. “No one here doubts your capabilities?”

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