Page 9 of Meet Me In Central Park

‘That’s what we all say at first.’ Harry smiled and bent down to kiss Paula on the cheek when she came over. So that explained how keen he’d been to give me her card – they were clearly a couple, which meant Paula probably knew my innermost secrets too.

‘I hope this guy isn’t bothering you?’ Paula laughed, and I shook my head. Something about Harry did bother me, but not for the reason she meant. I still felt as if I’d met him before – it had to be that he reminded me of someone else, but I just couldn’t place who. That had to explain why I felt so jittery around him; I hated not being able to work out what caused the jolt of recognition every time I saw him.

‘No, he’s not bothering me. Harry was the one who recommended your class.’

‘Ah, maybe I should put him on commission. Although 10 per cent of nothing is still nothing.’ Paula glanced down at my drawing, and I fought the urge to cover it up with my arms – like a child trying to stop the kid next to her from copying her work. Although no one in their right mind would want to copy my artwork. ‘That’s very interesting.’

‘What? Interesting how bad it is! It’s just a really terrible drawing of one of the dogs I saw downstairs.’ Let her try and make something deep and meaningful out of that. Even if Harry had told her what had happened to my parents, I felt pretty certain there was nothing in the drawing that she could link to it.

‘It’s not so much the dog, it’s the house in the background.’ Paula leant forward in her wheelchair, and pointed to the tiny house I’d drawn, as if it was miles away from the dog. ‘Why is the house so far in the distance?’

‘I was just filling up the empty space.’

‘But there’s still lots of empty space; you could have filled much more of it by drawing the house closer to the dog.’ She looked at me without saying anything, her gaze so intense that in the end I was desperate to fill the silence.

‘He’s lost.’ I hadn’t wanted to admit that was what I was thinking, when I’d drawn the dog. It didn’t mean anything. It was just that my attempt at drawing the pug’s squishy little face had left him looking sad, that was all.

‘Definitely interesting.’ Paula glanced at Harry, and then back at me. ‘We can talk later, if you like.’

I was tempted to say that I was sure Harry had already blabbed everything there was to know about my emotional state of mind. But I didn’t want to cry in front of Harry again, or anyone else for that matter, so I just nodded.

When they moved off to the other side of the studio, I couldn’t get back into my painting. I didn’t want to give Paula any more ammunition to find hidden meaning. It was just a dog, for God’s sake.

Unlike me, Madison, Dannie and Rob all seemed to be really into what they were doing, so I wandered around the studio, trying to avoid looking at what anyone else was painting. I didn’t want to see if there had been any more additions to the man-baby, or to start interpreting clouds on someone else’s painting as representing the inner turmoil of the human mind. Or, worse still, to discover that I was the only one who sucked at painting. There were lots of pictures up on the walls, but there was one I kept being drawn back to. I couldn’t take my eyes of it.

‘It’s awesome, isn’t it?’ Harry had snuck up on me again. The man really ought to come with a warning.

‘It’s beautiful.’ It was like a kaleidoscope of colour, and the design made it look as if there was no end to it. I’d never seen anything like it before. ‘Are these all done by members of the art group?’ I felt more ashamed of my lonely pug than ever.

‘No, Paula runs a straight-up art class too. As well as teaching some psychology classes at NYU and seeing private clients out of her offices on Sixth.’ It made me tired just listening to how much she did, but the pride in Harry’s voice was obvious. He clearly loved her and who wouldn’t want to be with someone who radiated energy the way she did. When he’d stood next to us, it must have been like standing with Tigger and Eeyore. For some reason I wanted to know more about their lives together, even though picturing them as a couple suddenly made it hard to swallow.

‘Busy lady. That must make it difficult for you two to make time to see each other.’

‘Yeah, sometimes it does.’ He gave me a strange look. Funny how he didn’t like it when it was turned on him – having someone probing into his personal life. Well two could play at that game and I needed to really be able to imagine their lives together, so I could stop wondering what it might be like to kiss him when I watched his mouth as he spoke.

‘Have you known each other long?’

‘We met at college.’ Harry turned back to the painting, cutting off my line of questioning. ‘This is one of DeShawn’s paintings. Paula can’t work out why he keeps coming back to her class, when there’s nothing she can teach someone that talented. But I have a pretty good idea.’

I looked at the signature on the painting. Whoever DeShawn Parshall was, I admired Harry’s lack of jealousy. It was obvious the guy was going to Paula’s classes just to see her, and Harry knew it too.

‘I don’t know about you, chicken, but I am so ready for a proper brew. This being an artistic genius is much more tiring than it looks.’ Dannie came over to where we were standing. ‘What about you, Harry, are you going to join us?’

‘You two know each other?’ So much for big cities being anonymous.

‘I told you that, remember.’ Harry paused. ‘When we spoke in the park.’

‘Ah, I was wondering how you two knew each other!’ Dannie tapped the side of his nose. ‘Well Paula said she’d join us, and Rob’s brought some blueberry swirl cheesecake.’

I’d have liked to say that the thought of a third slice of cheesecake in one day didn’t appeal, but that would have been a lie. I’d definitely have to join the joggers in the park at this rate, but I was determined to hang on to the positives. Rob’s cheesecakes tasted of paradise and, after all, I was doing this for Dad.

‘Only an idiot would turn that down.’ Harry smiled at me, and suddenly a crazy thought went through my head: I wish I’d met him at a different time, when he didn’t have a brilliant and beautiful girlfriend, and I didn’t have enough emotional baggage to fill Grand Central Station. The thought took me by surprise. It was the first time since my parents had died that I’d needed to remind myself the barriers I’d put up were there to protect me. Maybe it was just the magic of being in New York. I was already doing so many things I’d never have dreamt of doing back in Canterbury. Whatever feelings were being stirred up every time I looked at Harry’s mouth and imagined what it would be like to kiss him would pass and, even if they didn’t, I’d be going home before I knew it and I’d forget all about him before I even landed in Heathrow.

* * *

‘Yorkshire tea and New York cheesecake; if that isn’t the perfect fusion of two cultures, I don’t know what is.’ Karly put the cheesecake in the middle of the table in the Community Center café, which had a small bar at one end. ‘It doesn’t matter how many times you stare at me, guys, you aren’t getting any cheesecake.’ She looked down at the pugs, who were following her every move with their eyes.

‘Aw, poor old Olly and George – you’re such a meany. As for Lola and Gladys, how can you resist those faces?’ Dannie bent down and patted each of the pugs on the top of their heads in turn. Four pugs breathing excitedly made it sound a bit like a steam train was heading in our direction, but despite the sound, I couldn’t help but wonder whether having an animal to care for could work for me as well; they certainly seemed to make Karly happy. I’d been thinking about getting a dog for a while; the only thing that put me off was the fact that they had such short lives. Letting myself love an animal and having to face the prospect of one day losing it, had stopped me from acting on my plans. Although what Karly said next put me off a bit too.

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