Page 33 of Meet Me In Central Park

‘You saved my girls. When they found out their dad had booked a carriage ride in the park, they went back to the hotel to charge Kayleigh’s cell phone, so she could take some pictures.’ She was speaking so fast, it was hard for me to keep up with what she was saying. ‘Savannah’s seventeen, and Mike keeps telling me that I’ve got to let them have a bit more freedom, and that it would be safe for them to walk four blocks in Midtown, without me holding their hand. And then this happens. I should never have let them go by themselves.’

‘It’s not your fault.’ The words came out of my mouth, but I still couldn’t see the irony – not until the girls’ mother said what she said next.

‘I still can’t believe you risked your life for two strangers. I’d die for them, of course I would. But for you to risk that for someone you don’t even know, I can never thank you enough.’ It was probably just the headlights of one of the police cars being switched on, to illuminate the road, but if someone had said the whole sky had lit up at that moment, I wouldn’t have disbelieved them. I could finally see what everyone had been saying – my parents would have given up their lives to save me, in a heartbeat, but the last thing they’d have wanted was for me to give up my life for them. Especially when it wouldn’t do a thing to bring them back. I didn’t have to be in a churchyard three and a half thousand miles away to remember them, they were with me wherever I went. I’d never felt that way more than I had in New York, but now I was terrified that I’d slammed the door on my life here too.

‘I’m just glad they’re okay.’ Allowing the woman to subject me to another rib-crushing hug, I stood up; the worst of the dizziness seemed to have passed. ‘I’m sorry, but I’ve got to go.’ I needed to see Harry, whether I could find a cab or not, and I’d haul my bruised behind all the way to the Community Center if I had to.

‘You’re not going anywhere until the medics have at least checked you out.’ The police officer put her hand on my arm again. ‘They’re here now and, if they give you the okay, I’ll drive you anywhere you want to go. But if you try to leave without getting checked out first, I’ll have to arrest you.’ I didn’t know if she was joking, but she didn’t smile, so I wasn’t going to risk it.

It took nearly half an hour for me to satisfy the paramedics that I didn’t have any serious injuries, and even then, I had to sign a waiver to promise I wouldn’t sue them if half my bum cheeks suddenly dropped off or something. I should be so lucky. They said I was probably just badly bruised, and I agreed with them every time I sat down.

The police took my details and an initial statement, but they said they’d need me to do a full witness interview after Christmas. The girls’ mother had insisted on taking my mobile number, too, even though I’d told her that the hundred or so times she’d already thanked me was more than enough. As a result, it was nearly ten o’clock by the time the police officer, whose name turned out to be Susie, dropped me off at the Community Center.

Opening the door to the café, I could have believed I’d walked into a wake instead of a Christmas Eve party.

‘Libby, what the hell are you doing here?’ Dannie was the first to notice me, and his eyes flashed. I’d never seen him like this before.

‘I’m sorry, but I’ve been in an accident and all I wanted was Harry. I didn’t realise…’ The tears were back, and it took me what felt like hours to get the whole story out – between sobs and going off on a tangent about losing Mum and Dad, meeting the girl who’d given up her honeymoon to be with her parents, and Blanche’s story about someone only really dying when they were forgotten. It sounded like gobbledygook as I was saying it, so God knows if it made any sense to the others. But, somehow, they seemed to get the gist, and by the time I finally stopped for breath, Dannie was crying too.

‘I’m sorry, Lib, I just thought you’d walked out on us all, without even bothering to say goodbye.’

A fresh set of tears streamed down my face. ‘I don’t blame you for being angry; I handled it all so badly.’

Paula moved her wheelchair to position herself next to me. ‘I wish I had better news to tell you about Harry. But he didn’t take the fact that you’d left very well, and he borrowed DeShawn’s car. He set off for Florida, even though I told him it was crazy, but he said he had to get out of New York.’

‘I’m such an idiot.’ I leant on her shoulder for a moment, wishing I’d listened the first time around. But it was too late now. It was all too late.

‘Let’s get you home.’ Rob came over and took my hand. ‘Do you think you can walk?’

‘I’ve got my mom’s car, so I’ll drop you back on the way home.’ Abbie smiled in my direction, and I tried to smile back, but my mouth wouldn’t cooperate.

‘I’m sorry.’ I seemed to be saying that a lot. ‘I didn’t mean to break up the party.’

‘It wasn’t much of a party without you anyway, chicken.’ Dannie took one of my arms as he spoke, and Rob supported me on the other side. I couldn’t believe I’d been willing to leave all of this behind, or that they were prepared to forgive me. I’d lost Harry, though, so maybe they thought that was enough punishment for anyone.

* * *

Dannie and Rob had tried to persuade me to stay at their place, but in the end, I’d finally managed to convince them that I’d be better on my own. Lying on my side on the bed at 3a.m., I heard the ping of a text on my mobile phone. My heart felt as though it was banging against my rib cage as I picked it up, hoping against hope that it was Harry. I hadn’t been able to bring myself to message him, but I knew one of the others wouldn’t be able to resist telling him what had happened, and I didn’t want to stop them. There was just an outside chance that he might still be able to forgive me, if they did. A one-in-a-million shot was better than nothing.

Message from Nan

Happy Christmas, love. It’s already Christmas morning in Norway, so I know you won’t get this until you wake up. I just wanted to say how happy we are about you staying on in New York and starting a wonderful new life. In fact, we’ve already put a deposit down on that world cruise I told you about, and it stops in New York in April, so we’ll see you then! Billy and some of the regulars are forming a syndicate to buy the pub as a private club, so it’s a new start for us all. And it’s about time. All our love, Nan and Granddad xxxx

So the pub was going, and my grandparents were off around the world. Dottie had been right, they’d kept the place on because I’d needed somewhere to be, so my going home would only have put their plans on hold again. I was happy for them, I really was. But I didn’t think I’d ever felt so alone, and a fresh crop of tears slid on to the pillow as I lay on my side.

I spotted the parcel Aunt Dottie had given me out of the corner of my eye and despite the fact that it didn’t feel remotely like Christmas any more, just the chance to hold something in my hands that my grandmother had sent, proved too much to resist. There was a small parcel inside, but there was also a book, with a note from Nan.

I found this in the box of your mum’s books I kept and I thought it might come in useful. Lots of love, Nan xx

I lifted the book up. It was a guide to New York and the cover had four different photographs on it. One of the Statue of Liberty, one of the Empire State Building, one of Grand Central Station, and the final one of Central Park. Mum had bought it long before I’d ever booked their trip, and she’d get it out every so often and tell me about all the places she was going to go to, when she finally got to visit. That book was on the coffee table in their sitting room for a least two years, but, as I peered it, another piece of the puzzle slotted in to place and I finally realised why I’d always felt so strongly that I knew Harry from somewhere. He was there, the dominant image in the foreground of the picture of Central Park. And when I opened the book and turned to the section on the park, he was in more of the photos. I must have seen his face hundreds of times. Mum had written on Post-it notes stuck to some of the pages too, with details about what she was going to order in a restaurant on Fifth Avenue, or the time of day she wanted to take a boat trip on the Hudson to see the skyline at sunset. And there was a Post-in note stuck to one of the pages with Harry’s picture on:

I’m going to find this ranger, because he looks really kind, and ask him everything there is to know about the park!

Mum had discovered Harry long before I’d ever met him, and she’d been right. He was really kind, but he was so many more things too. It was almost as if Mum was trying to guide me to him all along, and if only I’d opened the parcel before I’d decided to leave, I might have understood that sooner. But now it was too late. I’d hurt Harry, and even if I explained to him why I’d done what I did, he’d never understand, because I barely understood it myself any more. I just wanted to close my eyes and wake up when Christmas was all over, but not even sleep was on my side now.

Flicking through the TV channels in a fruitless attempt to find something that might take my mind off the monumental cock-up I’d made of my so-called new life, I stopped at a channel that was showing a film that hit me like a punch in the chest. Gargamel was holed up in Belvedere Castle plotting against the Smurfs. It might have been dubbed in Spanish, but I lay staring at it for another hour, until at some point I must have finally slid into the oblivion of sleep. But even that couldn’t last, and every time I turned over on to the bruises on my backside, it woke me up. Things really couldn’t get any worse.

15

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