Page 70 of The Surrender

I crash the two orbs together and take a deep breath.

Kyan loses all of his.

Gray stars shower my vision. They tug my spirit into their embrace. And launch me into the Veil of Souls.

I have no form, no flesh—and my soul is broken. While they crushed me before, clawing at my life, hundreds of lost souls brush past me.

I float through them…or the closest I imagine what floating feels like. My feet don’t touch the ground. I remember floating in the lake and how close it felt like flying. When I spread my arms, my scream pierces the veil, scattering souls like water from a puddle. Back-to-back gasps leave my throat until laughter bursts from my mouth.

Your heart is too great, little spirit moth. You'll fly so high, you'll leave the sky...

Tears stream from my eyes as I raise myself into the air. Flying.

I’m flying on exquisite, membranous wings! Gray, but they shine like silver armor inside the Veil of Souls.

I squint through the souls, searching for one whose tethers call to mine. Thousands of souls within this Veil. But only one belongs to me. Only one pulls to my broken soul like gravity. Like a magnetism that reaches deep into my psyche.

I laugh through my tears, feeling that energy swirling all around me and charging me forward. Beating my wings, I follow that force and seek Kyan until I recognize the shimmering edges of his soul—from his dark brown locks falling around his neck to his strong, broad frame—and those eyes of deep-set indigo, glimmering like frost.

“Quinny...”

It’s all he says before I fall.

Oh, how you will fall!

I fall against him, sighing, crying. “You follow them. You’re all around them.”

I gaze up at his beautiful face. His sculpted angelic features—more ethereal than ever. As if I’m staring at a glimmer of who he would have been as Kyanatu, God of the Ten United Cities of Angels. The faint image of his wings, but they’re not black at all. They radiate with the purest gold that could blind the sun.

“There now, Quinny,” he says with a smile, warm and tender, and brushes his knuckles across my cheek. “Breathe in and out. Let my air flow like a ghost into your lungs to kiss yours.”

After he pauses, Kyan’s eyes darken and deepen upon mine before he closes his hand in a firm grip, wrapping it around the side of my neck. “You’re my little spirit moth, aren’t you? Sweet, sweet spirit moth.” It’s the first time I’ve heard Shadow’s voice when he doesn’t lilt.

I shake my head with a maddening laugh and flutter the moth wings. “You knew. All that time. You knew.”

Shadow rubs his lips across mine, then confesses, “Only pieces of the story, little Quinny. Foreshadow is all you need to know.”

“For Shadow.” I scrunch my brows before covering my face with my hands. A full-spirited tremor ruptures through me with the awareness. “Foreshadow!”

He nods in confirmation. “I was Kyanatu’s Oracle. I became Shadow after the Curse. You, alone, can break it and bring Kyanatu back to life.”

“Kyanatu...” I trail off, parting my lips as he threads his fingers through my hair.

A cold shockwave rocks through me, sending chills vibrating through my spirit. His smile grows. But I knit my brows low, denial curving the corners of my lips in a frown.

“He is the loyal one, Quintessa.” Shadow presses his brow to mine, his breath tangling with mine. “He will always be there...here.” He curls his fingers onto my chest, palming my beating heart. “Waiting in the wings.”

“Won’t you?” I repeat from our previous time together. Hope swells in my chest even though I shouldn’t hold onto it.

“I will always be a part of him...” he whispers and touches his brow to mine before he curves his fingers onto my belly. “And now a part of you.”

“No. Please don’t.” Grief wells up inside me, fracturing my voice. “I can’t...I want you as much as I want him. I can’t lose you, Shadow.”

“You will not lose Shadow, Quintessa. You will find Kyanatu and the Oracle inside him. And if you still wish, they will fuck you on his throne as we should have done the right way.” He smirks to one side and curves his wings around me, skirting the edges of mine in a promise.

Tears blur my vision, and I break down against him, overwhelmed by the heartache for the demon who hurt me. But he’s also the demon who sacrificed and surrendered himself for me. He’s surrendering again—but in a different way. Almost as painful.

“Even the blackest hearts are capable of love,” Shadow tells me, drawing his wings away from my spirit. “Your scars and demons will always let you hide. Time to step into the light.”

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