Page 85 of What Comes After

“If you were enjoying spending time with me, why did you push so hard to leave right away?”

Everything changed in her expression. I started to question if I’d made a mistake in asking for this too soon. It wasn’t that I didn’t think we should talk about it, but maybe we needed to have more time together just being comfortable with this new place in our relationship before we started addressing every little thing.

“I told you it was because I needed to get back here and return to my normal life,” she replied.

Right.

I knew that’s what she’d told me, but there had been so much said that day, which left me wondering if there wasn’t more to it. The last thing I wanted to do was start this off between us with me accusing her of lying to me, so I said, “Okay.”

A tense silence lingered in the air for a few beats before Devyn revealed, “That wasn’t the only reason, though.”

At least I had confirmation I wasn’t crazy or paranoid.

“What else is there?” I asked.

“Fear.”

Her response caught me by surprise. “Fear? What are you afraid of?”

“You,” she answered. My body tensed, and just as I was about to ask how she could ever be afraid of me, she added, “More specifically, I’m terrified of losing you. Being around you like I was for weeks on end, it was impossible not to reminisce about how it used to be, how I could walk out my front door and see you whenever I wanted.”

While I was relieved to understand she wasn’t actually fearful of me, I was still a bit confused. “You were staying with me,” I reasoned. “You could just wake up every morning and see me. I don’t understand.”

“That was temporary, Theo. You have a life, a job. I could feel myself getting caught up in you all over again, and I knew I wasn’t going to survive it when you left to go back home to California.”

I closed my eyes and sighed.

My mom had been right about everything. All of it.

I’d been such a fool.

When I opened my eyes again, I declared, “Tennessee is my home, Devyn. Iris is my home. You are my home.” She held my gaze intently, hanging on to each word and desperate for another. So, I continued, “I don’t know what you want to see happen here, but I know what I want. I’m here to stay.”

“Stay?” she repeated.

“I won’t lie and say I’ll never make a trip out west again to visit, and I can’t say I’ll never make another movie, but I’ve accomplished everything I’ve wanted to accomplish in my career,” I explained. “Films would be few and far between, if at all. I want my day-to-day life to include waking up beside you as the two of us build a life together.

“You were serious when you said you were looking at properties to settle down,” she stated, as though the words I’d said earlier had just clicked inside her head, as though she believed them now.

“Yes, Devyn, I was serious about it, and the second I arrived here weeks ago, I knew this was where I needed and wanted to be.”

Her eyes roamed over my face, searching for something. I wasn’t sure if she found whatever she was looking for before she asked, “So, we’re going to do this? For real?”

“Yes.”

Devyn took in that single word, smiled at me, and dropped her cheek to my chest again. We stayed like that for a long time, neither of us saying a word, until I finally spoke.

“Can I ask you another question?”

“Okay,” she replied.

“When I got here earlier tonight, it was clear you had been crying,” I started. “You told me it was about business things. Was that the truth?”

She lifted her head again, returning her gaze to my face. “Not all of it,” she admitted.

“Was it about us?” I asked, figuring it might be easier on her if I just guessed.

Devyn nodded. “Yeah. I was trying to tell myself I’d done the right thing by leaving, but it hurt when so many days had passed, and I hadn’t heard anything from you. I felt as though I was right back to square one. You being away while I waited for scraps of you to come through the phone or the very rare visit.”

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