Page 40 of What Comes After

I reached into my purse and pulled out my phone as I said, “I don’t know if he sent you the same one, but I got a picture from Theo earlier. They’re starting filming for the next movie today.”

Once I pulled up the photo, I held the phone out to her. She took it from me, inspected it, and smiled.

“He seems happy, doesn’t he?”

The tone of her voice indicated she was more concerned for him than anything, and I thought that was strange. “Of course. Don’t you think so?”

She shrugged. “I know he loves what he does, but sometimes I wonder if he’s truly happy with his life.”

When she put it like that, I had to stop and think for a bit. When it came to his career, there was no question about it. Theo was over the moon. But when it came to his personal life, I think Theo struggled quite a bit initially. It wasn’t the easiest transition for him, but I thought he eventually adjusted well to it. From what I’d seen more recently, he was always in a great mood.

Then again, it was possible Theo showed me what he did, and perhaps his mom saw something else.

“I think he’s happy. Has he said something that makes you concerned?” I asked.

Shaking her head, she replied, “No. I’m just looking at it from a mother’s perspective, I guess. Maybe this is more about what I want for him and less about how he actually feels.”

“But you’re happy for him, Mary,” I reasoned, not understanding what she was getting at. “Don’t forget I saw all those photos from when you attended the Golden Globes as his guest two years ago. You were stunning, and I don’t think I ever saw you looking so happy.”

“I did look incredible, didn’t I?” she countered.

I giggled just as our server brought over our drinks.

When he walked away, Mary said, “In all seriousness, it’s just this gut feeling I have about him.”

“What do you mean?” I pressed.

Her eyes roamed over my face for a long time before she answered, “For so many years, I thought I knew how things would work out for him. I know he’s realized part of his dream, but I’m convinced there’s another part he’s missing. There’s been no steady companionship in his life all this time he’s been gone.”

I sat back in my seat, understanding finally dawning.

This was really not a conversation I wanted to have with Mary. It was difficult enough for me to think about on my own.

The truth was, I had hoped for a long time that something would come from the kiss that Theo had given me before he left for California. But by the time he came back to Iris for the first time, which wasn’t until the following Thanksgiving for just a few days, it was almost as though it hadn’t ever happened.

Theo hadn’t done anything mean or upsetting to me when he came back. In fact, he’d been the same as he always had with me. But he never mentioned that kiss. He never brought up the words he’d said to me that day.

I wondered if he’d forgotten about all of it. That was the only explanation I could come up with, and for that reason, I couldn’t bring myself to say a word. God, that would have been mortifying.

Especially when I had a pretty good idea as to why he’d forgotten about what he’d done that day. Theo had moved on.

He never came right out and said anything to me—even Mary hadn’t gotten word on an official girlfriend—but I wasn’t an idiot. He was living the life.

I’d seen countless photos of him either going to functions or just out in public with so many different Hollywood celebrities. Female celebrities.

I’d never be able to compete.

I’d never compare.

They were in couture, while I rotated through the same three pairs of crappy jeans.

He’d moved on, and I had no choice but to do the same.

God, I’d never forget the look on Mary’s face when she’d learned about my first—and only—boyfriend. She was devastated. That guy was my ex-boyfriend now, and I’d gone on a handful of dates since then, but nothing ever panned out.

The bottom line was that Theo and I had grown apart. Even though I knew we’d both be there for each other in a heartbeat if a situation ever called for it, we weren’t the same people we were when we were fourteen or fifteen.

Well, I knew I’d be there for him. I couldn’t say if Theo would ever make it back here for me.

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