Page 74 of What Comes After

My mom cocked an eyebrow. “So she could live your life?”

“It wasn’t like that at all, but there’s no question she wouldn’t have wound up in a near-death experience if she had joined me.”

“And what if you never went out there?”

Now it was my turn to be confused. “What?”

“If you never left, do you think she would have wound up where she is now?”

That question had my body going solid. If I never left, I had to believe things would have been much different between Devyn and me. We fit together so well, and we never argued. If I hadn’t left, she would have been mine all these years.

We’d have been married by now, and we probably would have already had at least one kid. Maybe two.

“I can see where your mind is right now, and I don’t think that’s what Devyn would want for you, Theo,” my mom started. “She’s so proud of you, and nobody was happier than her about all that you’ve accomplished, but you need to take some time to think about all of this from her perspective.”

I felt completely defeated, because I knew every single word my mom spoke was the absolute truth.

“I don’t know what to do,” I confessed.

The silence stretched between us. My mom was quiet for so long, I started to think she wasn’t going to offer me any advice. “Do you love her?”

“Yes.”

“That’s all that matters.”

My brows pulled together. “I think you’re underestimating things.”

That’s when she hit me with me. In a look that only a mom could pull off, she tilted her head to one side and smiled at me. “Theo, nothing else matters.”

“Considering all that was said just a few days ago, I think—”

“Those are details. Don’t get caught up in the details,” she suggested.

Maybe this was a bad idea. Maybe my hope that my mom would be able to help me in this situation was all about to be crushed, because I didn’t think what she was encouraging me to do was possible.

“Are you telling me I should just ignore all that Devyn said and pretend like nothing happened?” I retorted.

“Now, why would you think that?”

My eyes widened in disbelief. “Because you just told me not to get caught up in the details.”

Once again, I was met with a bout of silence. Part of me was starting to wonder if my mom was purposely making me sit there quietly with her for my own benefit. It was entirely possible she was hoping I’d figure it all out on my own.

But when it became clear that I was no closer to seeing or understanding whatever it was she hoped I would, she spoke.

“When Devyn’s parents died, I was heartbroken,” she started, taking the conversation somewhere I hadn’t expected it to go. “We were all devastated, but for me, it went beyond grieving for the friends I’d lost. It was about being a mother and knowing where their deaths left Devyn in this world. Somehow, I’d managed to find peace with it. I was always comforted by the knowledge that Devyn would never be alone. For as long as I can remember, I always believed you and Devyn would wind up together. But then you left, and you never came back unless it was to visit for a short time.”

My mom paused a moment, giving me time to process all that she’d just shared. I had barely started to do that when she continued, “Devyn was alone. She had your father and me here, but it was never the same. It was never like it used to be, and it certainly wasn’t how I thought it would be.”

“Mom, I—”

“She loves you, Theo,” my mom interrupted me. “I’ve known that for years. I don’t think there’s anyone in this world who means more to her than you do.”

A hollow feeling settled in the pit of my stomach as a painful burn developed in my lungs. “She’s my best friend.”

Nodding, my mom confirmed, “Yes. But you know she’s so much more than just that.”

She was.

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