Page 42 of What Comes After

She’s alive, but they don’t know if she’s going to make it.

I felt like I was crawling out of my skin over the worry I felt for her.

After receiving that call from my mom, I wasted not a single minute. Even with my prompt response, it still felt as though it was taking too long to get there, to get to her.

No matter that I’d gotten on the plane and was up in the air at what could only be described as the very definition of immediate, too much time had passed. I’d finally made it back to Tennessee, back to Iris, and I was currently racing to the hospital.

My stomach was in knots.

My palms were sweating.

Devyn.

My sweet Devyn was in the hospital, and the last thing I knew was that the doctors were unsure if she was going to survive.

If something happened to her, if she didn’t make it, I was going to lose my mind.

Throughout the entire plane ride back to Tennessee, my mind played the cruelest of tricks on me, tormenting me with questions to which I couldn’t seem to find any good answers. What were the last words I’d verbally spoken to her? When was the last time I’d seen her? Could I remember what it was like to hold her in my arms? What would I do if I never got the chance to do any of that again?

I’d spent the whole flight bargaining, promising to do better by her if her life would be spared.

She couldn’t die.

She just couldn’t.

I’d never survive losing her.

Though it had taken entirely too long in my book, I finally made it to the hospital. At some point during my flight, my mom had texted me the details of where I could find Devyn in the hospital. She’d given me the floor and room number, so the second I walked through the doors, I made a beeline for the elevators, ignoring anything and anyone in my path.

No sooner had the doors closed and the elevator started moving, I told myself I should have taken the stairs. This was going too slowly, and there was a risk of the elevator getting stuck, ensuring I might not be able to see Devyn at all.

In my state, rational thoughts seemed to have left the building. I had a feeling I’d better get used to that, too, because until Devyn was out of the woods, I’d never be able to calm down.

As it was, I was terrified I’d arrive just in time to learn I was too late.

The elevator finally stopped, and the doors slid open. I stepped off, feeling as focused and determined as a man on a mission to save the world.

But that feeling was gone the moment I stepped into Devyn’s room. I was vaguely aware of the fact that my mom had turned her head in my direction, but I didn’t look at her. I couldn’t peel my eyes away from the woman in the hospital bed.

She was covered.

Head to toe, the bandages, tubes, and gauze were the best of what I saw. Because if it wasn’t that, it was the bruising, blood, and swelling I was confronted with instead.

What scared me about it all was knowing what I knew about her condition. They didn’t know if she was going to survive. That meant, even if it killed me to look at it, I couldn’t ignore what was staring me in the face. As bad as the physical injuries were on the exterior, things had to be far worse on the inside.

My knees felt weak; it was a wonder I could remain standing.

I swallowed hard, sick at the thought of all the pain she must have been in, and I finally stepped forward.

When I made it to the side of her bed, seeing her up close and in person for the first time in far too long, I wanted to kick my own ass. Nothing about what I was seeing looked like the woman I knew. Between the bandages, bruising, and swelling, if someone hadn’t told me this was her, I wouldn’t have known.

“Jesus,” I whispered. Unable to stop it, my hand instinctively reached out to hers. Without taking my eyes off of her, I asked my mom, “Is she going to be alright?”

“I hope so. It’s still a waiting game,” she replied quietly, the strain in her voice undeniable.

This was killing her probably just as much as it was killing me.

“How bad are her injuries?” I pressed, continuing to stare at Devyn in disbelief.

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