Page 265 of One Bossy Disaster

We all cry.

Tears of joy, of course.

This sense of giddy rightness with the world, of belonging, of being ecstatic with something so perfect.

And I know I deserve this happiness, too.

I’m just thrilled that the people I love are here to share it with me.

Soon, Dad and I duck out for a quick stop at the memorial where Mom is buried. It’s just her ashes in this mausoleum. Her real memorial is in Hawaii.

Although we weren’t close, and she was gone when I was so young, I still try to pay my respects every so often.

Dad stands behind me silently with his hands clasped while I lay flowers.

I tell her about Shepherd and all the hopeful, happy things happening with my conservation work. I’m not Catholic, but it’s a little like how I imagine a confession might feel, and it’s fitting for today.

Not goodbye, but closure.

When I was a kid, I always wondered how weird it would be not having a mom to gab over wedding plans with or share my tears as I walk down the aisle. In times like these, I miss her, never mind the fact that I never knew her too well.

It’s a lump in my throat. Hard emotion that won’t budge until Dad lays a firm hand on my shoulder and squeezes.

“Come on, love. Wherever she is, I’m sure she warmed up to Shepherd faster than me,” he jokes.

We walk back to the car.

Later, I find out my mother’s absence isn’t weird at all.

Because Idohave a mom, and Eliza bawls like a baby the minute I show up at our venue. I think I even catch Dad turning away a few times, muttering about allergies making him all misty-eyed.

The dress takes over an hour to squeeze into.

I went for a white slip, roaring twenties style.

Lena wears an orange jumpsuit dress she loves as she fusses over me and brushes Molly. I’m a little glad I don’t know what Shepherd’s wearing.

By the time we get to the docks in the stretch limo, I’m fizzing with excitement.

We’ve gone for a water wedding. What else?

That means ignoring the blustery weather and venturing out on the Puget Sound.

It's where our story began, out on the water, the day I bumped heads with a man who only had a kayak and a death wish.

It feels right having our wedding here, even if it’s a chill autumn day.

Eliza and Lena fuss over me like bees, making sure my veil is perfect, not caring that the wind will probably blow everything out of place. Dad stands in the corner with Molly and my little siblings, watching them as they stroke the husky and get a thousand face licks back.

“Are you ready?” he asks once Eliza goes back to her seat and it’s just us.

The deck sways gently underneath us with the swell, but surprisingly, my mind doesn't go back to that stormy, scary evening.

Adriana Cerva has lost her power over us.

My chest fills with so much happiness I’m pretty sure it’s close to actual bodily harm.

I don’t care.

---