Page 89 of Fabulous Filthy Friend

Her eyes darken. “That’s different.”

My hands fall away from her, annoyance starting to build. “How so?”

“Because I’m not the one jerking off for strangers.”

I recoil and step back from her slowly.

Fucking wow!

Each retreating step I take puts more distance between us, physically and emotionally, but it doesn’t matter.

I can’t believe she said that.

My back collides with the front door, and I sigh. “And here I thought you didn’t judge me for it. I guess I was wrong.”

She bites her lip but doesn’t deny it.

“I guess we were both wrong about a lot of things.” I twist the knob, step out the door, and slam it closed behind me.

I don’t even bother to point out that she jerked off online with a total stranger, too, and then agreed to go meet him in person. Just because she broke my heart doesn’t mean I have to be a complete douchebag and throw that back in her face.

The best weekend of my life has turned into the worst.

And I don’t know if there’s any way to fix this.

* * *

RACHEL

The words on the page in front of me blur together. These damn tears keep welling in my eyes despite my best efforts to keep them at bay.

Thank God I don’t need to see the words to finish this one.

I’ve read this story to the kids a thousand times over the years and know it by heart. In retrospect, I should have picked a different book. One with less love and soul mates BS that might bring on the waterworks today.

“And they all lived happily ever after. The end.”

I close the book and peer down at the back cover for a moment. The smiling princess staring up at her prince, the one who used to be something else—a beast.

They somehow managed to find true happiness in the end, even with all the things that stood between them, yet Flynn and I fell apart after only two days together.

What does that say about us?

Maybe it’s a part of the harsh reality that happily ever after only exists in fairy tales. And this isn’t one.

What happened this weekend just complicated things too much. If we had continued on as merely friends, we would’ve been blissfully unaware that we were lying to each other. Because that’s what we were both doing. Flynn was lying to me about being HRD4U, about all the threats he received, about his feelings for me, and I was lying to him about why all my relationships fail and why I can’t find anyone to settle down with. I was also lying to myself when I tried to deny my attraction for Flynn and convince myself there wasn’t anything more there.

But we could’ve faked it.

We could’ve gone on like things were.

It might not have been perfect, but at least we had each other. At least we had our friendship. Now, it feels like we have nothing. Except maybe a whole lot of pain.

“Miss Rachel? Are you okay?” Connor stares up at me from his spot in the front row of the colorful rug. His wide eyes, so much like his father’s, look up at me with concern.

I plaster on my best reassuring smile and nod. “I’m fine. I just really love this story.”

He grins. “Me, too.

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