Page 57 of Fabulous Filthy Friend

He chews on his nail and watches me for a minute. “You think I should call her and ask her out again?”

I clench my jaw and bite back the no I don’t want you to fucking touch her response that tries to work its way up my throat. “Do whatever you want, Dan. I don’t really know or have any control over what Rachel does with her dating life.”

“Fair enough.” He holds up his hands. “You want to stay out of it in case things go south.”

“Sure, that’s it.” At least he offered me an out of this super awkward conversation.

He nods. “I get it; setting up friends is always risky. I promise I won’t do anything to get her mad at you.” He grabs his phone from his pocket. “I’m going to text her now before we head out.”

Of course, he is.

I rise from my chair and slowly make my way around my desk as his fingers tap away at his phone screen. My eyes automatically drift to the time. Rach will be on her lunch hour. The only time she looks at or responds to messages during her workday.

She’ll probably be excited.

And isn’t that a kick in the balls.

The whole “moving on” thing seems a lot easier in theory than it is in actual practice. Even the little chat I had with INEEDSOMED last night can’t keep away the pain of thinking Rachel may finally find someone who isn’t me. What I said to that girl was true, at least, I’ve always thought it to be: the small world has lots of people in it. And I believe there’s someone out there for everyone.

I just need my head to convince my heart that it’s not Rachel.

My phone buzzes in my pocket, and I pull it out as I follow Dan out into the hallway.

Rach

Guess who just texted me?

I scowl at my phone.

Dan?

Her reply comes almost instantly.

:-). He says he wants to go out again.

Are you gonna go?

I told him yes.

My chest tightens. My arm tingles, and my phone falls from my hand onto the tile foyer in front of the elevators.

Christ, is this what having a heart attack feels like?

The pain radiates from my chest out my arms and up my neck to the back of my head.

No, I’m too young and healthy for a heart attack.

This is worse. This is hate and jealousy over a man I like, over a man I set up with Rachel, a man who is my friend.

Deep down, I hoped she would say no. I prayed I had misread both of them and the date totally sucked. I longed to have her say no.

“Rachel just said yes to going out again.” Dan presses the down button and turns to look at me. “Hey, man, you okay?”

I suck in a deep breath. Two. Three.

“Yep.” I bend down and grab my phone.

The elevator doors slide open, and I follow him inside. I force my fingers to type out a reply.

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