Page 20 of Fabulous Filthy Friend

I would touch and lick and kiss every inch of that man.

Again.

And again.

And again.

And something tells me he would do the same.

He’s not just a taker. He’s a giver. Something about the way he talks to the viewers—even with the electronically distorted voice—elicits a sense of calm, like he’s everyone’s best friend and an incredibly caring man.

Who would be the perfect lover.

At least in my head.

In real life, he probably has some major fault—they all do. Perfect men only exist in pornos and romance novels. They don’t live in Redondo Beach, California.

Is it really so much to ask?

Although, even if there were one here, how would I ever find him?

I can’t exactly advertise what I like. Not only would I be fired if the parents found out their kids’ kindergarten teacher is a closet freak, but it would also invite sick weirdos into my life instead of sweet, decent guys who know how to talk dirty and have superb fucking abilities. The two co-existing is such a unicorn that I’m convinced it can’t happen in real life.

One experience in college, one amazing night with a dirty-talking, spanking, hard-fucking guy from that frat, changed my life. Without that, I would never know what was missing now.

Why did he have to be so damn good?

I’ve been ruined for “ordinary” sex ever since. I might as well accept that I’ll spend the rest of my life alone watching HRD4U with B.O.B. rather than coming on some perfect man’s cock.

Pathetic.

But it’s my life. And after the sort-of argument I had with Flynn today, I needed something to make me feel better.

He’s never snapped at me like that. Never pushed me out and completely shut down. It was the first time in all our years of friendship when I’ve felt like he was hiding something from me, something that might be important.

Maybe he thinks I’ll be jealous if he has a secret girlfriend, or that I’ll be mad at him for not telling me about her right away.

I wouldn’t be, though. Not really. Not if she makes him happy.

That’s all I’ve ever wanted for him, and tonight I needed to forget about the argument. To forget the weirdness of today. To be happy, even for a few minutes.

HRD4U was the only one who came to mind who would do that.

That’s even more pathetic.

Sitting home alone, watching internet porn…

How did my life come to this?

The comments on-screen come fast and furious, like he and I just did.

HRD4U! That was so hot.

Oh my God!

I would suck your dick!

Can I please come over? We can do this for real.

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