Page 26 of Fabulous Filthy Friend

I should not have said anything about it. Not to Jameson. Because now I’ve opened up a line of conversation I know he doesn’t want to have, and I don’t have the energy to go through with him. “Don’t worry about it.”

“I’m not worried; I’m just curious. Since when do you go to church?”

Well, fuck it.

I guess it’s now or never.

“I’ve been thinking about a lot of things since Dad died.” The cold silence that greets my statement is exactly what I expected. “Jamo, you still there?”

He clears his throat again, harder this time in his annoyance. “Yeah, I’m still here.”

I knew as soon as I brought up Dad, he’d shut down. “I know you don’t want to talk about it, but—”

“No but. I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Then just listen, please. Because I really do need your help.” Something I never like to admit to anyone, let alone the Fury boys. “I’ve been feeling very…I don’t know…lost since Dad died. Even though I have Flynn and Alicia and Cade, and my work friends here, I feel out of place. Maybe it was because I was home in Michigan for those last couple of weeks with Dad, or it could have been seeing Bash and him finally finding a way to forgive Dad for what he put us through. I don’t know. I just…miss you guys. I miss my family.”

I hadn’t intended to word vomit like that, and Jameson’s silence tells me that he’s as uncomfortable with my statement as I am.

We haven’t really been a real family for a long time. After Mom died, we lost our only real reason ever to get together. Bash went off to play in Chicago, and Jameson ran off to culinary school. I took the job in California. We have been on opposite sides of the country, which hasn’t really bothered me much before, but it seems like Dad’s death has sparked something I didn’t even know was there. The need for family. The need for that connection. And the fight with Flynn only makes it even more prevalent. If I lose him, too, I will really have nothing here.

Jameson releases a deep sigh. “I’m sorry you’re struggling, sis. And I miss you and Bash, too. But we all have our separate lives now. We are all tied up in whatever is going on, but it doesn’t mean I don’t still think about you and him. Maybe we just need to make a more concerted effort to get together more often.”

A tear trickles down my cheek, and I brush it away as I nod, even though he can’t see me. “Yeah. I’d like that.”

“Why don’t you come to New York?”

“When?”

“Whenever. We haven’t chosen a location for the restaurant yet, but I could use a woman’s touch picking out some of the décor. I know the vibe I want, but you know…”

I chuckle and sip at my wine. “Yeah, I know you have awful taste.”

“Hey!” He releases a deep laugh. “I resent that comment.”

“Well, your ex-girlfriends prove my point.”

“Ouch.” He chuckles. “Look, I’m serious, though. Come see me whenever you want, even if it’s just for a long weekend. Or maybe for your spring break.”

It does sound nice, getting away from here and spending time with Jameson. The last time we saw each other was at one of Bash’s games when they played in New York and I flew in for it. “I’ll think about it.”

“You’ll be all right, Rach. You always are. And tell Flynn to call me when you see him.”

My chest tightens again. “I will. Whenever I see him…”

If he’s still talking to me.

7

RACHEL

“Ms. Rachel, why are you spying on Mr. Flynn’s house?”

I jerk away from the window, and the blinds I was holding open to peer out of snap shut violently. Connor stares up at me in his cute Captain America jammies with one dark eyebrow raised, looking just like his dad anytime he questions me about anything.

“I wasn’t spying.”

His brow furrows, and he shakes his head. “Then, what were you doing?”

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