Page 90 of A Spell of Midlife Mayhem

‘So, you’re giving up.’

‘What else can I do, Raven? I’m out of options.’

‘Do you always give up so easily?’

‘What? No. I don’t give up like that. Never. Whatever I have to get done, I do it.’

Raven shuffled closer to me on the couch and took my hand in his. ‘You said, “whatever I have to get done”. What do you mean by that?’

‘I mean, that if I have something I have to do, then I do it. That’s what I do.’

‘And by something you have to do, you mean...’ His eyes widened, inviting me to complete the sentence.

I was stumped. What did I mean?

‘Heather, I think you mean that when someone tells you what to do, you get it done. Isn’t that right?’

‘Um. Yes, I guess.’ My voice had gone up an octave. My breathing increased. Nervous tension gripped my neck.

‘Why is that, do you think?’ Raven’s voice was soft. His gaze held mine for a few moments until I looked away.

‘I—I don’t know. I suppose I don’t want to disappoint people.’

‘So... you do stuff for other people because they want you to do it. That’s when you don’t give up, but when it’s something for you, you do give up. Is that right?’

I didn’t answer. One of my eyes was itchy. I wiped at it.

Raven continued. ‘I understand this, Heather. Maybe you fell into a pattern in your life in which you did everything for everyone else. Your husband. Your work. Your child. Whoever else. You forgot to do things for you.’

Now I covered my eyes with my free hand. They were moist.

Raven squeezed my other hand. ‘If you’re constantly trying to prove your worth to someone, you have already forgotten your value.’

He released my hand, got up and left me on my own.

Chapter 29

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