Page 80 of A Spell of Midlife Mayhem

‘Art we to do nothing but tarry hither?’ Charlotte demanded.

I sat up. I’d had an idea. ‘You can do something while we wait. Can you sneak down to Penny’s car and have a look inside? Including in the trunk? See if the stolen spell book is there?’

‘I shalt take up this task,’ Maisey said, and jumped through the car door and ran down the footpath to Penny’s car.

‘Verily, Maisey may be quite the shrinking violet,’ Charlotte said, ‘but nay one can deny her spirit for journey and exploration.’

I didn’t reply. Guilt and shame crept over me for spying on my colleague by proxy. All I was going on was intuition and random chance. I could rely on the former, but the latter was a cruel mistress. For all I knew, Penny was one hundred per cent innocent, and I was poking into her personal life without her knowledge or approval. What did that make me? Nothing good.

‘Pray, do not feel discouraged,’ Charlotte said, as if reading my mind. ‘For ’tis thee who sought to investigate, and investigate we shalt.’

‘Yeah, right.’ She was correct, but it didn’t ease my conscience.

Maisey came running back and dived through the rear window into the car. Once my heart palpitations had settled—for I still wasn’t used to the ghosts passing through solid objects—and Maisey had turned the right way up and sat down, I asked her if she’d found the stolen book.

‘What wouldst it be like?’ she asked.

‘It’s large and bound with leather. Did you see anything like that?’

‘Naught as such.’

Okay. So, either Penny didn’t steal the spell book, or she’d already taken it somewhere else. Maybe yesterday. So, I couldn’t rule her out, anyway. I’d gotten nowhere with this excursion.

‘Thither I tread and saw strange wares of leather, masks I hadnae ever seen afore, to be worn at rich folks’ galas, and shoes of a kind with high heels! And thither wast something else—a whip!’

‘A whip? Are you sure?’ I blurted out my question before I could stop myself. I did not need to know this about Penny.

‘Aye. ’Twast forsooth a whip. Black as night, like the garments.’

Oh crap. Quiet, steady, proper Penny. Sure, her disposition was sometimes a little sour. But I would never have guessed she was a closet dominatrix!

I shivered. I’d pried and learned something I couldn’t unlearn.

‘Is thither a ball or some such nonce of which we shouldst be aware?’ the countess asked.

‘I don’t think Penny would go to a ball,’ I said, rueing my actions. ‘I think we’re out of luck here. Let’s go back.’

‘Most certes not; we hast come this far and wilt not relent,’ Charlotte said. ‘We wilt press onwards and follow that lady home and observe if it be true this incantatory volume is present.’

‘Let’s not do that.’ Given what was in her car, who knew what we’d discover at her house?

‘Allow us take a ballot on the matter,’ the earl declared. ‘Whoever’s in favour, declare it with an “aye!”’

“Ayes!” resounded all around the car. I frowned at being outnumbered. I could refuse to drive, but I’d asked for their help, so I couldn’t deny them now. Or could I?

‘Penny got back in to her horseless coach,’ Maisey said urgently.

‘Follow that lady.’ Charlotte glowered at me.

I started the car and pulled out after Penny. Being summer, it was still light. I tried to keep another car between us to reduce the chance of her spotting me tailing her. It seemed to work, at least until we entered the suburb of New Malden and turned off the main road.

‘What under the heavens art thou doing?’ Charlotte asked as I dropped further behind.

‘Trying not to be too obvious,’ I said. ‘Look, she’s turned into that driveway. We’ll stop here.’

‘I’m fading,’ Maisey wailed. She appeared about to cry.

‘Fading? What do you mean?’ A shot of alarm went through me. Had I done something to my ghostly passengers unwittingly?

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