Page 79 of A Spell of Midlife Mayhem

‘That only leaves the staff,’ Charlotte concluded. ‘That is thy notion.’

Maisey spoke, enunciating her words carefully in a singsong voice. ‘Lydia, Penny, Melissa, Heather.’ It was the first time she’d spoken in my presence.

‘I’m excluding myself,’ I pointed out. ‘Obviously.’

‘Thee may be attempting to deceive us,’ the earl said. He might be old, but his mind was still sharp, as was his acerbic wit.

‘Why would I do that?’ Exasperated, I turned right around in my seat to face him. ‘Why would I ask you—let you—help me investigate the crime if I was the murderer and thief myself?’

‘Thy cunning red herring,’ he replied.

‘Red herring? What do you know about red herrings?’

‘He reads detective books,’ Maisey sang.

‘Look, Thomas—’

He scowled at me.

‘I mean, My Lord, if you are going to accuse me, you can damn well get out of the car now.’

‘I assure thee I shan’t!’

‘Penny is coming,’ Charlotte said.

I’d almost missed her because I’d been arguing with the earl. She got into her car and sped off. I reversed out of my park and tailed her as closely as I dared, so she wouldn’t notice me following.

‘Wherefore do we pursue Penny?’ the countess asked. ‘Do thou forsooth suspect that lady for the murder of that gent and the taking of the precious tome?’

‘I think a staff member may have stolen the book. I might be wrong, but I’m sure they hid the book in the house and removed it later. If Penny took it, she may even have it in her car right now. If we follow her, we might see her with the book when she gets out.’

‘’Tis a fanciful notion, is it not?’

‘Yes, but what else do we have to go on? I can’t imagine Penny, Melissa or Lydia doing this, but one of them must have taken the spell book.’ Ahead of us, Penny made a late turn, almost catching me unawares. I followed.

‘’Tis not right for ye to assume the lady be the killer,’ Maisey sang. ‘Murder, murder, dig another grave. Hie, hie, to catch the knave.’

‘If it be true the lady is the one who hath done these nefarious acts, shalt we then lop off her head?’ Charlotte asked.

‘Nay!’ boomed the earl to his wife. ‘That is the occupation of the constables! Though ’twouldst be a meet spectacle to see that lady head mounted on a stake at the gates, for ’twouldst present a fair dissuasion to other malfeasants.’

‘We’re not chopping off any heads,’ I said firmly. ‘And neither are the police.’

‘Thee people hast become far too merciful of late,’ the earl grumbled. ‘And too soft. In my day, thither wast nay footpaths for the peasants. They hadst to jump clear if a carriage came past.’

‘Ridiculous,’ I muttered.

‘What wast that?’

‘Never mind. Keep an eye on Penny’s chariot for me, will you, everyone?’

After a while, Penny came to a stop outside a greasy café. We pulled in a short distance further on. She gave no sign of having noticed me following her.

Maisey peered out the back window. ‘Penny got out of her horseless coach and stepped inside.’

I turned in time to see her enter the café. She didn’t have a book with her. Maybe it was still in her car.

We sat for a few minutes. Charlotte tapped her fingers silently on the door handle. Maisey twirled her hair. The earl twirled his moustache. I slouched in the driver’s seat, getting bored.

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