Page 19 of A Spell of Midlife Mayhem

Back inside, I put the assignments on a chair. From a drawer in the kitchen, I pulled out a pad of paper and a pen. I drew a line down the centre and wrote ‘Pros’ and ‘Cons’ on both sides.

I didn’t need my ghostly mother popping in to give her advice. For the first time in my life, I’d work out the best thing for me by myself.

***

IT WAS MY CONVERSATION with Rose the previous night that pushed me over the line with my decision.

Once I’d made it, everything seemed clearer. All my problems were in Christchurch: Terry, Bruce and Graham, the dead-end job at school, pressing financial issues.

I needed to leave it all behind.

A little after nine, I phoned the bank and moved half of our joint funds and investments into a new account of my own.

At ten o’clock, I phoned Rachel to confirm she would sort out a separation document. After arranging that, I’d need to talk to Terry and put the house on the market. I had enough funds to last me a few weeks and to buy a one-way airfare to the UK. Aunt Ruth needed help, and I’d sort something out for her. I may even stay there for a few weeks. Or even months. Maybe a year. It would give me time to clear my head and plan my new post-bullshit life.

I’d already phoned the school to say I couldn’t come in for personal reasons. Bruce pressed me on the issue, trying to sticky-beak into my business, but I wouldn’t elaborate. I told him Graham would have to drive over to pick up the unmarked assignments. I hadn’t had time to do them.

With my life imploding with Terry’s affair and our separation, I didn’t want to go on in any semblance of my old life. I wouldn’t return to teaching.

I needed something different, yet meaningful. Going to spend time with Aunt Ruth would be it.

A pang of regret hit me whenever my thoughts returned to Rose. I’d be on the other side of the world from her if she needed me. But I told myself she didn’t need me much anymore. She was an adult living her own life in a different city. I’d probably only see her a couple of times a year anyway if I stayed. And we could video call as often as we wanted wherever in the world I was.

What about my mother’s ghost? Would she find her way to where she needed to go now that she’d delivered her messages to me? I might never know.

Midlife crises. Funny how everything happens at once. When you thought everything was fine and settled, you get battered by a life storm like a hurricane on steroids.

Chapter 8

SIX WEEKS LATER

BREAKFAST IN AUCKLAND. Dinner in Singapore. Breakfast again in London.

Luggage in Los Angeles or San Francisco. The airline wasn’t sure.

When I lined up at the airline help desk in Heathrow Airport, I wished I’d bought the travel insurance the agent had recommended. Now I had nothing except my handbag and a small carry-on with one change of clothes, toiletries, my various medications and Aunt Ruth’s contact details. At least those weren’t sitting on a luggage carousal somewhere in a different country.

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