Page 176 of Halfblood Deceived

Zeydan went more than willing, capturing her lower lip between his and kissing her just that bit harder. He definitely knew what he was doing. Every brush of his lips made Aella’s heart beat impossibly faster, every slight pause for breath left her wanting more. One of his hands slid up her spine, making her shudder, and cupped the nape of her neck. His thumb drew idle circles over her pulse point. That seemingly innocent touch sent a bolt of aching heat down her sternum and curled around her belly. It settled right between her hips, hot and demanding.

A soft sound left Aella’s lips, but she had no time to be embarrassed, because something between a growl and a purr vibrated in Zeydan’s chest. The tip of his tongue traced her lower lip. She parted her lips further in an automatic invitation, tangling her fingers in his silky hair. He brushed his tongue against hers with a delicious, expert delicacy. Aella inhaled sharply, chasing more of that mind-bending, exquisite sensation. Zeydan caressed her tongue with his just that much firmer. The kiss deepened and turned more desperate for both.

It was as if a dam had broken, releasing desires Aella didn’t know how to name. She slid one hand down Zeydan’s chest, smiling against his lips as he shuddered lightly, and wrapped an arm around his muscular back, pressing him impossibly closer. She ignored the edges of the bookshelf, digging into her back. Her heart pounded, the reverberations traveled through her body, but narrowed between her legs, particularly in a sensitive spot, the name of which she had only learned recently.

Closer. She wanted Zeydan closer. Her grip around his waist tightened. He released a soft, pleased sound against her lips. The pressure settling low in her belly grew. The need to merge with Zeydan increased, as did the aching hunger in Aella’s very core. She knew he could fill that hunger. She wanted him to satiate that hunger. Goddess help her, she wanted him so much.

Zeydan slid his warm hand from her hip upward, slipping it under her sweater and settling it on the small of her back. The touch of his skin on hers was a revelation. As were the soft kisses he trailed from the corner of her mouth to her pulse point and down her neck, sending shivery pleasure to nerve endings Aella didn’t know she possessed.

She arched into him as the tip of his tongue brushed her vein. A moan left her as he kissed his way back to her sensitive lips. Zeydan’s hand strayed higher, fingers sliding under the clasp of her bra, the lower part of his body pressing into her.

Aella felt as if she’d been tossed into an icy pond.

Desire and heat froze into fear.

Zeydan let her go at once, pulling back and giving her a surprised look with bright green eyes that had feline, dilated pupils. “I…”

He didn’t seem to know what to say.

They were even.

Aella wrapped her arms around her middle, avoiding his eyes. “I can’t. Please. I can’t.”

She couldn’t breathe properly. Her breath froze in her lungs as she braced herself for his response. For his anger. Even as part of her knew that he wasn’t like that.

He wasn’t like Micah.

Aella wanted to put her head through a wall.

Why in all the Hells did she have to remember him in a moment like this? He did not belong in her life anymore, and she hated that he could taint all her experiences. She hated it beyond words.

Zeydan stepped further back. “Aella, would you please look at me?”

She lifted her head, not quite meeting his gaze and realizing tears were clouding her sight. She blinked and wiped them quickly.

“I’m sorry,” Zeydan said, looking worried.

Aella could feel his honesty down to her sore insides. Part of the knot in her gut relaxed, but she felt uncomfortable, even sad, as he apologized for kissing her.

Zeydan sighed, running a hand through his hair. “I should have been more careful. I’m sorry for rushing.”

Aella shook her head. “You did nothing wrong. I wanted it.” Until she hadn’t. Until her fears had reared their ugly head and the warmth in her veins turned to ice. “You did nothing I didn’t want, but I can’t…”

Part of her, an unknown, bold part of her, wanted to pull Zeydan closer again. To do what? She didn’t know. Maybe kiss him, maybe hold him, but her body was frozen in place. Her fingers dug into her sides so hard that she feared they’d leave bruises.

“I understand,” Zeydan insisted, and Aella had to look at him then. His eyes, back to their normal state, were warm and free of any anger. His brow furrowed with concern. “I’ll never take from you more than you want to give, alright? Never. I can promise you that. Hells, I can swear a blood oath if you want.”

Aella closed her eyes. She believed him. Gods, she believed him, but her chest still ached and she wanted the earth to open up and swallow her whole. “No need for a blood oath,” she said, opening her eyes and focusing on a spot over his shoulder. “I know you mean that, but I just…”

She had no words to explain.

No, that wasn’t true. She had the words, but not the courage to utter them.

Her insides wilted like a dying flower. She wanted to disappear, to become invisible.

“Do you want to be alone?” Zeydan guessed.

She nodded, not daring to meet his gaze.

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