Page 105 of Halfblood Deceived

Three feet.

Maybe Diana will be hurt at first, but, with time, she’ll be glad I am no longer here to remind her of her own past.

Two feet.

Diana is strong and brave. She’s a better person than me. She’ll be fine without me. Better off.

One foot.

Hollow pain pulsed in Aella’s chest. She was shaking now, the tears too hot against her icy face. Part of her wanted to find a reason to not take that last, irrevocable step. But there was none she could think of.

Aella felt like a nuisance to her sister. She ate Diana’s food and occupied her home with her pathetic presence. She was nothing, no one. She had nothing to offer. Never had. The world wouldn’t be better or worse if she was gone. It would simply remain the same, because she had no impact on anyone’s life other than being in their way. She often felt as if her misery, regret, and pain had devoured everything that made her a full person. She was nothing but an empty shell.

Two inches from the edge.

Aella looked down, blinking over and over to clear her sight and see the massive rocks being hit by the powerful tide many feet below. The fall would last five seconds, perhaps. Maybe it was long enough for her to regret it. Maybe not. She would find out.

She took a deep breath and leaned into the void.

Her body plunged into nothingness… for only a millisecond. Something gripped the thick fabric of her hoodie and yanked her back toward the solid ground with enough strength to send her flying for two whole yards. She landed on her backside.

Disoriented, half blind with tears, and with that prickly heat that comes before sharp pain expanding from her butt to her neck, Aella half sat up. She blinked hard a few times, her sight swimming, and inhaled sharply at the sight of the massive black wolf.

He was breathing hard, as if he’d been running at full speed, bright green eyes conveying something like panic.

Aella stared at him as the sharp pain of the fall made itself known in her back.

Her previous full numbness disappeared like a bubble bursting.

The pain clawing at her insides came back with full force.

She swallowed hard to control the impulse to retch and stood on shaky legs. Breaking eye contact with the wolf, she looked over at the cliff. Yearning and horror sent a sharp pain down her left arm as she considered trying to dodge him and jump. He wouldn’t jump after her, would he? She didn’t want his death on her conscience even if said conscience lasted only a few seconds more.

The wolf tracked the direction of her gaze. He adjusted his position with a speed that should be impossible for his bulk, standing in her way.

Anger and indignation boiled inside Aella. “Why do you care?!” she screamed, her voice broken and almost suffocated by the salty wind. “You don’t know me! You don’t know who I am! You don’t know what a waste of space I am! Get out of my way!”

He had the gall to shake his head and step closer, giving her the choice to back down or come within inches of him.

She didn’t back down.

“How dare you?!” she cried in his face, trying to shove him away, but moving a tree would have been easier.

A desperate growl left her throat.

The wolf’s interruption was destroying her previous determination.

The cowardliness she had been trying to keep at bay came back with full force.

And she hated it.

The wolf nudged her with his muzzle, forcing her a few steps back. His bright green eyes flashed with determination and despair.

A broken cry left Aella’s throat. “I was glad to know the gargoyles had killed people, don’t you understand? I celebrated their return. I felt vicarious revenge when I heard they had killed vampires. I thought they were saving people like me from monsters, but we were the damned monsters all along.” She wrapped her arms around her body, her breathing sawed and painful. “And deep down, I could feel it was wrong, but my rage, my desire to avenge my mother, blinded me. And now I know just how wrong it was, how everything was a lie, and I hate myself for it. I hate what they turned me into. I hate seeing my reflection in the mirror.”

Her legs gave out, and she landed painfully on her knees, but the sting was just a distant echo. She was breathing fast, so much she felt lightheaded. Sobs shook her chest, her head pulsed with unrelenting pain, and she half wished her skull would be so kind as to explode and end her misery.

The wolf rubbed Aella’s face with his cheek.

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