Page 93 of Haze

That bad eh?

BlackBerry is awful. Data can’t be bothered with anything about it of course, because he’s human. I’m pretty sure that new guy Finn, YOUR MATE, has contemplated killing BlackBerry at least four times. I saw Finn had him pinned against the wall. FUCKING HOT. Alpha males, yum. Why is it you Alpha Females get all the hot dudes? Kinda bummed you didn’t tell me btw.

It literally just happened. It’s not like I was hiding him or anything.

I hit send on that last message as Finn stirs in bed.

He calls, “Kathleen? You in pain?”

“I’m fine. Can’t sleep is all,” I tell him.

There’s more shuffling on the bed, and it sounds like he’s rolled over to go back to sleep.

I didn’t think you were hiding him. It’s like IDK we’re not close but it kinda feels that way sometimes.

You’re the only friend I have. Let’s be real.

Awww. I knew you were my friend. Seriously though, I don’t know what to do about work. BlackBerry cornered Caitlen, Data says we have to ignore him. At least with you here someone’s not afraid to put him in his place. None of us want to be the reason research can’t continue.

Hands come to rest on my shoulders, and I jump, startled. Dropping my phone, I look up to see Finn.

He yawns. “You could have woken me up.”

“I’m catching up on work and school.” I move to pick up my phone, but Finn’s long arms get there first.

He holds it out of reach and reads the screen. “Who is BlackBerry and who is Data?”

“Brayden and Doctor Thorpe,” I answer. Busted.

Finn hands my phone back but doesn’t comment on the conversation about him.

“That’s it?” I question.

Finn smiles and walks around to sit on the sofa facing me. The way the firelight dances across his tattoos sends needy warmth right to my core.

“If I get one request, it’s that you’re more creative than ‘fish’ for my nickname.” Finn shrugs. “Do you want to go for a run?”

“I can’t. I have to spend all night figuring out what to nickname you now that you’ve taken away the only option I had come up with,” I sass, hoping to hide behind that as the reason. When in reality, there’s only the weird squirmy life inside me. I feel it more frequently, but it definitely doesn’t feel wolf shaped.

Finn’s wolf comes forward, the green of his eyes reflecting in the low light of the fireplace.

There’s nothing I can do. Mine isn’t there. I don’t feel it.

I shake my head, arguing, “How is it that you’re fine with going for a run but getting fucked is off the table?”

The sly smile Finn gives me tickles me all the way to my core.

He offers, “If you come with me on a short run and you still feel up to it... there are still some things we didn’t do during your heat that I would love to do now.”

The squirmy feeling pushes forward, hard, and makes me curl up tighter into a ball. It hurts.

I can’t handle this feeling. Is this my wolf now?

Finn and my wolf's bonding will only make breaking our mating bond hurt more. But I need to heal, and I need my wolf on my side to heal. If this is what she is, then I’ve got to embrace it. Never thought I’d miss the snarky little coward. She was bad but better than this mush.

Slowly, I stand. Finn follows me to my feet and offers his hand. Hesitantly I place mine in his. With what I imagine is my wolf so close to my skin, the lightest touch almost feels like our wolves are already connecting.

The vision slams hard through my brain, blocking everything else out.

---