Page 87 of Haze

“Finn, put me down,” she objects with a squirm, trying to wiggle her way free.

But I’m stronger and bigger than her, and much like our ascent up the stairs, she has no choice but to comply.

Climbing onto the bed, I finally set her down. She tries to roll away, but I wrap my arm around her and pull her back to me. I adjust her so that her head rests on my arm. She’s the perfect little spoon.

Nosing my way into her hair, I draw in her sweet scent before starting with the one thing I haven’t given her yet. It’s something she needs to hear. “I’m sorry, Kathleen. Had I known you were a submissive, I would have approached us differently.”

Lena wiggles, but she settles, clearly uncomfortable. With one final adjustment, her body relaxes slowly against mine.

With a sigh, she complains, “I don’t want to be treated differently.”

“You are different, faolan. Whether you want to be or not.”

Lena quits breathing, and traces of rage come from her body again. But there’s also a growing presence that feels like her wolf.

I continue. “I’m sorry, Kathleen, because I wouldn’t have given us the opportunity to bond if I knew how much it would upset you. I would have done everything in my power to walk out that door. You deserved to choose me on your own, not in the middle of heat.”

“Fuck y—”

“Don’t. I’m not playing this dance where you insist you don’t want me. Stop assuming that I don’t want you. If you tell me what you need, I’ll give it to you. You’re mine, and I’m not angry about it. I will never regret it,” I tell her, keeping my voice low.

Her little hand finds mine, and the action tells me somehow she’s finding reassurance in my words.

I interlace my fingers with hers. “Your heat bound us together. But the pull of fate between us is real.”

She snarls, and despite it dying in her throat, it’s coming from her wolf.

Shaking her head, Lena mumbles, “I hate how weak I am with you.”

Kissing the back of her head, I squeeze her gently. “You’re never weak with me. Kathleen, you’re the second most fearsome woman I’ve met. Even then, it’s only because I watched my mother rip a man limb from limb. Though, I’m fairly certain, given the opportunity, you might do that to Revecca.”

She snorts a short laugh. “Brutal. But not what I mean.”

“So tell me.” I drop the rigid frame I’ve been using to hold her against my chest.

Lena’s not fighting me right now. I suspect giving a little and letting her choose to open up to me will win more favors than pushing my dominance over her.

It would be fun to put our mate under us. Remind her the right way we care for her and her wolf. My wolf finds an alternative way to deal with Lena’s insecurities regarding our place in her life.

“Ten seconds,” I offer.

Without waiting for a number to start, Lena speaks. “My wolf is gone. I can’t find her. What I’m feeling isn’t right from what Ansel and Dinah have said about their wolves after...” Her voice trails. “You seem to make that feeling be more. But it doesn’t. It’s not.” She trembles a bit. Drawing a deep breath, she lets it out. I give her space to keep talking. “At least when she was talking to me, I could predict what she was doing. It’s dangerous to be what I am without control. If it doesn’t go back to normal, what will I do? Everyone will know.”

Squeezing her fingers to show I’m still listening, I wait some more. However, it hasn’t curbed my confusion. Dangerous? Why is she pretending to be an Alpha Female?

“I need something stable until I can find control over her. I’m too weak when you’re here. You need to stay away. I can’t have her latch onto you only for you to get tired of the real me and leave.” Lena makes a demand.

“Won’t happen, faolan.” I try to reassure her. She’s not hearing me. The words I’m using aren’t sinking in. “I don’t want you to feel that way. I want you to feel empowered with me, not diminished. Whatever it is you believe being a submissive is, isn’t what I know. I’d love for you to tell me so that I can understand and help you more.” I pause, hoping she’ll interject. When she doesn’t, I keep talking. “I’m never leaving you. If it means I have to stay plastered to your side every hour of every day, I will.”

Lena shakes her head and says nothing.

If it weren’t for the growing feeling of tension through her muscles, I’d think she’d fallen asleep.

She argues, “Conditioned to be a commodity is not a life I want.”

“Is that how you see yourself?” I ask.

I can’t see her face and need to. Leaning back, I pull her around in my arms.

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