Page 160 of Haze

Studying pack members’ names from their social media pages has been helping, but I still get some wrong. I finally take my place next to Thalia at the table. Forty-five minutes passed quickly. I’m hungry, but at least a bunch of finger foods and a sparkly glass of champagne are already on the table.

Deacon sits down across from Thalia but doesn’t say anything. Curiously enough, though, he doesn’t touch his champagne glass. Cade and Finn come out of the house as the rest of our pack members settle. Finn approaches Deacon’s side of the table.

I freeze. He wouldn’t.

My stomach is in knots.

I turn my head to look at Thalia, but she doesn’t meet my gaze. I look past her at Cade. He gives me the smallest nod when I catch his eyes.

My breath hitches in my throat, and I have to fight to control my emotions.

You’ve got to be kidding me.

“Deacon Alden.” Finn’s voice is firm, his thick Irish accent rumbling with it.

I don’t listen anymore. I can’t. I know what they’re saying. The words may change, but the result is always the same. It’s a challenge fight to submission or to death. Finn wants Deacon’s spot as Second.

I know Cade sanctioned this. No one had the decency to tell me. I struggle to keep my breath and my hands steady.

Deacon stands up from the table. So, it’s happening.

No. How can I be expected to watch this? This is Deacon. My Deacon. And Finn is my mate. As much as I still fight him, I can’t deny how much I’ve grown accustomed to his care, his presence, and his reassurances in my life. A challenge between the two of them feels like an impossible situation. One of the men I care about is getting maimed, or worse. Probably Deacon.

My wolf riots when I try to stand. I focus on pushing myself out of my chair, but I’m frozen by the ferocity of lava brewing deep inside. Cade, Deacon, and Finn walk down the deck to the yard below. Thalia touches my shoulder, and it’s only with her insistence that I break free from the chair.

My wolf is long gone, retreated into the monstrous wolf of fire and anger. I focus on containing the lumpy feeling in my stomach, clenching my core and holding it all still.

By the time we get to the deck railing, they’re naked. Cade steps back from between them, indicating the start of the challenge. Their wolves explode from their bodies. It’s when I quit watching.

Snarling and growling erupt with the fight, but my eyes are trained on the distance beyond them. I hate watching fights. The blood and gore are too hard to ignore.

Despite my gaze looking out at the tree line above where they’re fighting, I catch Thalia’s movements from the corner of my eye. She winces and wraps her arms around herself.

I can’t watch Finn kill Deacon. I don’t know how she can stomach it either.

Bile rises in my throat, fueled by the unsettled fire. I can’t decide if I’m about to puke or shift.

I draw deep breaths trying to stop these feelings.

The fight ends a moment later with a large yelp. The snarling stops, followed by a large whine.

Thalia’s hands are over her mouth. She’s not breathing.

I turn to her and pull her hands from her mouth. “Breathe, Thalia. You can’t pass out right now.”

She draws a deep breath.

“Is there another challenger for Pack Second?” Cade asks at a normal speaking volume despite the distance from him to us on the deck.

I finally examine the field below. Deacon’s chest rises and falls. His body shifts back slowly, and he lies on the ground, looking up at the sky.

Finn’s black wolf paces back and forth. Blood smeared across his coat glistens in the sun. Wet splotches across his muzzle and down his shoulders indicate it wasn’t only Finn who got some good bites in.

His green eyes lock with mine. Despite my anger at him for doing this, the call of his wolf excites me and beckons the feral animal within me.

“I challenge for Second,” a man whose name I still don’t know shouts. “I also challenge for intention of Kathleen Alden.”

If I thought the sea of lava was violent before, I was wrong. Nothing could tame the tides now. The snarl escapes my mouth before I can stop it. I look to the man down below who has challenged for me. He’s built like your typical wolf. Longer and leaner than Finn. He’s clearly a runner over a fighter. That he thinks he could be a good mate for me is laughable.

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