Page 61 of Haze

Cade rests his hand on my shoulder. It’s odd being touched by a near stranger. I turn my head to look at him.

He elaborates. “Like you’ve spent your life learning how to fight and enforce for The Hellhound, Lena’s spent her life learning how to hide who she is from the rest of the world. If not for her sake, for mine. I never should have let her.”

Lena has spent her life hiding her submissive? Her whole life? I know submissives aren’t valued and held in as high of esteem as they are in Ireland, but this is unacceptable. Having to suppress her natural disposition in favor of self-preservation. I’m angry, and my rage toward Cade is growing quickly. He must know the damage this has done to her and her wolf. Why isn’t he bothered by it?

I take a deep breath. Biting his head off about how wrong he was for allowing her to hide her wolf won’t help the situation—with my mate or finding amnesty with her pack. As much as it pains me, I choose to focus on how I failed Lena in this.

My wolf is growling and snapping, demanding answers. I pull him back, arguably doing the same thing to him that Lena has done for her entire life, but there’s a time for bloodshed and it isn’t now.

I hang my head in defeat, turning back to my own shortcomings. “It’s no excuse. There were signs, and I missed them. Looking back, I can’t believe I missed it.” I shake my head, bitter words coming out fueled with an angry fire. I shrug Cade off and begin pacing. “I fucking even said how rare it was for an Alpha wolf to have a submissive side.”

“Hind—” Cade starts.

“If you finish that sentence with sight is twenty-twenty.” I give him a stern look.

He holds his hand up in a ‘don’t shoot’ motion. Cade laughs in an attempt to break our tension for a moment. “Don’t be hard on yourself when it comes to her, Finn.”

Shaking my head, I sigh. “I’m sorry.” And despite recognizing his fault in this as well, I am.

“For what?” Cade cocks his head to the side.

That damn grin still painted across his face. How can he find humor right now?

I tilt my head and shrug. “For how big of an arse I’ll be for a little while.”

“Ahh, preemptive.” Cade chuckles and nods. “I mean it though, Finn. There’s only so much I’ll be able to protect you from here. She needs you to be civilized when dealing with others who don’t understand your relationship and the boundaries you two need with others. This isn’t a war zone. We can’t assault people because we want to.” He draws a breath and finishes through a sigh, “Especially idiot humans.”

“Yes, Sovereign,” I answer.

“I’m having sentries come take my mate and brother home. Go check out of your hotel and put your items in Lena’s apartment. I’ll update you if Lena wakes up. Get some sleep at her place if you can. Eat something, and when you’re more stable, come back.”

Cade gives me orders. It’s refreshing to have strict objectives.

The king of last-minute reminders, Cade holds up a finger. “Water her plant. She’ll be pissed if that thing dies.”

I don’t say anything as I leave to complete the tasks at hand, orders given to me by the Alpha I serve.

Chapter 20

Finn

Four more days pass after another of Lena’s health struggles. Five more seizures, which were each more terrifying than the last. It was a blur when they had to give her a blood transfusion after something ruptured. She received two more rounds of total sedation. And over the last twenty-four hours, a lighter sedative. My beautiful little mate has been in and out of consciousness.

Never in my life have I been this scared. Why would God only give us a week of knowing her? Punishment probably. There’s no greater penance.

The healing process has been long, too long. Every time she wakes, when I’m with her, Lena fights me being there a little harder. I don’t bend to her will and instead reassure her I’m not letting her go. Ever. As she gets more tired, ever so sweetly, she asks me to stay with her and holds my hand while drifting off.

Cade and I swap places day and night. Nearing shift change, when I’m to leave for the night, my wolf goes on edge.

“Yeah, I brought Lena flowers. I guess I wasn’t aware wolves weren’t allowed at hospitals. I thought they might make her feel better.” Brayden’s squeaky little rodent voice sets me on edge.

I was assured he wouldn’t be allowed in this wing of the building.

“Oh.” Nikki, the wolf from Lena’s lab who has come down here specifically to be dedicated to Lena’s lab results, panics. She stumbles over her words. “I don’t think that’s a good idea. Pollen and all. We can keep them out here for when she’s a bit better. We’re not allowing any visitors.”

“Good point, I don’t want to make her more sick. I’ll pop in and see if she’s awake. I won’t stay long.” Brayden’s footfalls indicate the little shitehawke keeps advancing.

“Uhhh.” Nikki tries but keeps floundering. “Doctor Thorpe was clear with his orders.”

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