Page 5 of Haze

“Thank you.”

“Any time.” He taps the doorframe twice before heading to bed.

Looking up at the ceiling, I feel my wolf stretching and unwinding more and more from the dark recesses I’ve held her in all day.

Why won’t you let us have our mate? He was here tonight. All you had to do was look, she grumbles.

For the millionth time, I explain to her, Because we’re flawed. We don’t get a mate or a happily ever after, so we’re making do with helping the world be a better place instead.

She doesn’t answer or push the issue.

It’s not worth either of our time to keep having this conversation. We both want it, and only one of us is smart enough to acknowledge that it can’t happen.

Chapter 2

Finn

For the head of the university’s veterinary and laboratory operations, Doctor Thorpe’s office is laughably small. The tight quarters on their own have made me uncomfortable.

My wolf has been fighting for control since I plopped my arse in this chair almost an hour ago. We’ve had to endure the pompous lab rat talking down to us like we’re beneath him. But I need this job. I need to earn my way into the Ardelean Pack and prove I’m no longer working for Magnus nor tied to Ireland.

“As an external consultant, you’ll report directly to me,” Dr. Thorpe says while flashing his wolf in a show of dominance.

I’m not sure he knows who I am yet, but he’s making it clear he’s the one in charge here.

While gritting my teeth and trying to keep my wolf at bay, I say, “Understood.”

“You’ll report to me each day to get your assignment, and I want results. I need to figure out the inefficiencies immediately. We have a major discrepancy in many of the labs’ inventories. I expect your reports to find these discrepancies and display accurate measures to resolve them. I need you to start as soon as possible. Wednesday at the latest.” Dr. Thorpe gives me a curt nod, effectively dismissing me.

I stand from my chair and begrudgingly extend my hand. I don’t want to work for this sort of asshole, but time is running out and opportunities are limited. “I’ll be there Wednesday, and I’ll get the job done.”

I bow my head like a good wolf in the hierarchy and comply with his requests, even though it grates on my nerves to do so. This is a fresh start. I can’t afford to waste it. I need a job with pack visibility, and this job is my ticket to getting that. I can’t be picky about who I’m taking orders from, not just yet.

Once outside the science building walls, I loosen my tie and take in the area around me. I had been in such a rush to get to this job interview that I wasn’t in a mood to take in the university campus, not beyond what was needed for my own security.

Despite the job being at a facility six and a half kilometers away, Doctor Thorpe wanted me to meet him on campus. Can’t say I’ve been on one much in the better part of two decades, but this seems like a nice enough place.

Taking in a deep inhale, I consider how much my life has changed in the last five days. I’ve spent a lot of time in Minnesota over the last eighteen months. But I’d never considered it as a possibility for home. Ireland, with the pack, had always been where I wanted to settle down. It’s hard to think about, but less than a week ago, I was monitoring shipments of guns, ammunition, and drugs. I was keeping us above board with the harbormaster. Now I’m about to figure out why some lab rats can’t seem to use whatever ridiculous equipment correctly. Isn’t white-collar work supposed to feel more prestigious?

Since giving up my position as Magnus’s Enforcer, to best protect his business, Magnus had his fixers make up documents, work history, and a whole new resume for a subsidiary we own. On paper, I was an exemplary employee for the last twenty years. It’s not fake, it’s just not honest. But nixing log books for the pack business is a bit different from jobs in the world of the lawfully employed. Hopefully, once I prove my loyalty to Cade Alden, The Leviathan, and his pack, he can help me find something I’m more suited to.

The autumn weather is nice in Minnesota. But I’ve been in the Ardelean Pack’s territory for four days. My time of allowable visiting is almost over. I’ll have to make my extended stay known to The Leviathan.

My wolf is still on edge. He presses me to walk down the sidewalk, passing students walking at a relaxed pace. The habit of keeping our path slightly erratic, to avoid being followed, will be hard to break.

How long before I quit looking over my shoulder?

Swapping my leather jacket for a tweed coat feels too scholarly. As long as it conceals my gun until I can wear a thicker coat, it’ll do. While I’d like to think I’m safe here, it’s not a notion I give into easily. Even if I get pack status, which comes with the registered protection of an Alpha, some people don’t fear The Leviathan as much as they hate me.

I’m not afraid to be a lone wolf, but having caught the scent of my mate at the wedding Saturday, I need a pack to vouch for me. I don’t expect anyone to agree to mate a lone wolf. Fuck, God help me. I don’t know how I’ll find her. But I’m not ever giving up.

Quit wasting time and find her, my wolf urges. There were too many wolves at the reception. We hunted all night but couldn’t figure out where the beautiful scent was coming from. If only I knew what she looked like so I could use more than my nose to find her.

I’m patient. I’ll find her. I’ve waited this long.

Yes, we will. My wolf reminds me of how long he’s wanted to find ours.

Being a Dominant, inside the kink community and that lifestyle, and an Alpha wolf has given me dozens of opportunities to explore, learn, and grow. But I’ve yet to find the perfect submissive for me. Most partners have been above adequate and have gone on to serve Dominants and Masters without issues. The simplified version is that I could never fully accept the responsibility as a Dominant for someone because I was holding on to my personal beliefs.

---