Page 162 of Haze

“That is not at all how this was supposed to be,” Finn defends. “That’s not what you or your submission means to me.”

“But that’s how it is!” I’m shouting.

The words echo back in the bathroom, but apparently, I have to raise my voice to be heard.

Finn doesn’t match my volume. “Deacon isn’t strong enough to fight Alpha challenges for you and him. Thalia will go into heat sooner or later. What did you want Cade to do? Let you fight your own battles? Do you think your wolf could handle that? Even with the feral in you, I’ll remind you that you’re kind of shit at fighting.”

“Don’t you think I should have had the choice? Do I not get a say in what happens in my life? I think I deserve to have at least the choice to step down rather than be forced into this situation. Now if I step down, it’s because my mate is the Pack Second.” I didn’t realize this was how I felt. It’s true though. I would have rather stepped down.

Finn’s face falls from the confused, angry scrunch to a relaxed but worried frown. He steps toward me. “Do you want to step down?”

“Maybe,” I admit, tossing my hands with a shrug.

“Then we’ll talk about it,” he assures me.

He reaches out to rest his hand along my jaw, but I turn my head away from him.

Finn withdraws his hand and finishes drying his body off. He doesn’t give me any more sage words of wisdom or offer any well-intended lies, telling me that he’ll talk to me about important decisions in the future. The behavior is telling, Finn may regret not telling me, but he doesn’t intend to avoid doing it again, and that negates the apology. To truly apologize, you have to want to change the behavior.

“You won’t be sleeping here anymore. There are full suites on the far end of the house. You’ll have a space by Cade, which is where the Second should be,” I inform him.

I pull my dress back on and shuffle my hair around out of the neckline.

“Don’t say things you don’t mean, Kathleen.” Finn’s warning sounds ridiculous.

“I won’t, Finn.” I shake my head, turning my back on him. “I don’t want you here. I’ll ask Lauren to set you up a space and move your belongings. I’ll meet you downstairs.”

Chapter 53

Finn

Last night Lena was serious. She didn’t want me to sleep in her room. I found myself down on the far end of the house in a guest suite across the hall from Cade’s. My body called for rest, and I slept in short bursts, only to wake up this morning to try and win Lena over through early morning cuddles, but she wasn’t in her bed. It was cold and smelled like her but wasn’t fresh.

Scouring the house hasn’t turned her up.

“Have you seen Kathleen? She isn’t in her suite. I haven’t been able to find her anywhere. I hoped you knew where she was?” I ask Deacon the moment I find him.

Deacon’s lying on the floor outside Henri’s office, as indicated by the small nameplate to the right of the door.

He doesn’t even look at me. “You two fighting? Or is she done putting up with your bullshit?”

“She’s a little mad. I would hardly say we’re fighting,” I growl, frustrated by my situation.

“Tomato potato.” Deacon puts his phone down but doesn’t sit up. “You tried calling her?”

I grumble, “She turned off her phone.”

He goes back to looking at his phone. “Ahhh, she’s golfing then.”

“What? Kathleen doesn’t golf? And it’s like two hours before she’d like to be out of bed.” I shake my head.

He’s clearly fucking stoned or hammered again. Then again, off the hook with the job, why wouldn’t he be?

“You truly know nothing about her.” Deacon sighs. “She must have left earlier for mini-golfing. It’s her happy place. Explains why she said goodbye.”

“Where is it?” is what I ask him, but the second question is, what is it?

She said goodbye, and he’s only now mentioning this? I want to chew his head off, but it isn’t worth it. He won’t care.

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