Page 111 of West Bound

“Yikes. Pregnancy hormones must be a bitch.” CeCe shakes her head and hooks her arm in mine. “C’mon my fiery little redhead. Time to drink a lot and laugh too much.”

We walk out of my room and find Cat and Cami waiting for us. Like we’ve done many times before, we pile into the car and journey off to Billy’s for a party that won’t soon be forgotten.

“I can’t believe you and Phoenix waited so long to get married. This is amazing,” Cat calls out from her seat where she’s getting a lap dance from a very scantily clad man.

I’ve been fortunate enough to avoid any random balls to the face tonight. CeCe gave the men a warning–even though she said Phoenix would never find out–to keep three feet between them and me at all times. I told her it was best to advise them of it. Phoenix may not be in the building, but I guarantee he can tell when another man gets too close to me. He’s like a bloodhound. He’ll sniff the guy out and rip his spine right out of his back.

I’ve been present one too many times when Phoenix blew the skin back of another player when he got too close during interviews. He almost ripped the arms off of one guy when he hugged me and his hand was “too low” to be appropriate. I had to remind Phoenix of who he was and that any beating or killing of men would have to wait until he was retired.

“Well first,” I say, ticking off a finger. “I wasn’t ready to run down the aisle day two like this bitch.” I hitch my thumb at the very pregnant Camille. “Two, someone else had to go and beat everyone to the punch with popping out little crotch goblins and stealing my thunder. Three, we had to wait until Nix won his second title. And four, we only have a few months between end of season and spring training to pull off this extravaganza. You know I prefer peaches and pinks to fall colors. Plus, I didn’t want to have my wedding overshadowed by Halloween and Thanksgiving and Christmas. So…March fifth it was. We’ll get exactly one week on our honeymoon before he has to report to Florida for training. And I’ll be right behind him for the station, so basically it’ll turn into another three weeks of being newlyweds in between training and games.”

Cat has blocked me out and is back to staring at Office Booty Cheeks bend over for her. CeCe, however, says, “a simple ‘we wanted to wait’ would have sufficed. We didn’t need your whole fucking itinerary.”

I stick my tongue out and throw her the bird. She grows more and more like Luca each day. And by that I mean a cranky, salty bitch.

But I still love her. She loved my ass when I was being a stubborn, stupid bitch. And she loved Cam when she was being a blind, self-righteous bitch. It’s kind of our thing.

“I guess it was too much to ask for you to wait to get married until after I had this giant kid?” Cami says, waddling over to where we sit.

“Bitch. You’re the one who got knocked up before you and Vaughan even walked down the aisle. Plus, we had already booked the hotel. I couldn’t delay it anymore,” I tell her.

“How have you not gotten pregnant, by the way? You and Phoenix go at it every minute you’re not working or sleeping. Scratch that. I’m sure you two do it in your sleep.” Cam slowly lowers herself into the chair and places her hand over the bump that is my godson, Sloane.

She may not realize I’m his godmother, yet, but I’ll tell her as soon as he’s born.

“Well it’s simple, actually.”

“Oh God. Here goes another ten minute explanation that could’ve been summarized in three words,” CeCe moans.

“Shut up,” I chide her and punch her arm. “Phoenix’s dick is so huge that when he comes, it completely bypasses my ovaries and lands straight in my mouth. The problem is swallowing it back down aft–”

“Gag!”

“Oh my God! Stop! I can’t take it. I need to go bleach my brain. You two are gross.”

Cami tries once, then twice and on the third try, pushes herself out of her seat and walks over to refill her water at the bar.

“Like the song says,” I shout after her. “I get gnarly, I get gross. Wait ‘til you see what I can do with my toes.”

She turns around and puts her finger in her mouth like she’s gagging. I laugh and relish in the fact that I can still shock my friends.

The song playing ends and Cat waves a sad goodbye to her police officer as he grabs his uniform and big stick and walks off. Before a new song can start, CeCe jumps from her seat and rushes over to the DJ stand.

She grabs the mic and the DJ hushes the background music. “I need everyone’s attention, please.” The thirty or so friends who are joining us this evening quiet down and begin to move closer to our makeshift dance stage. “We have a special surprise for our bride-to-be, and we want all eyes on her.”

The women all cheer and I grow incredibly nervous.

“C,” I try shouting, but she holds up her hand and shushes me.

“Now, Vivi. We will have no arguments about it. Phoenix is not here to kill anyone, so you are going to sit there like a good girl and take it!” The girls scream again, and I slink further down into my chair.

I immediately stick my hand in the waistband of my skirt to grab my phone that I tucked in it before my purse was taken away. I stealthily unlock my phone and fire off a text to Phoenix before CeCe can snatch it away like the cellphone police.

Me: Baby, I just want you to know that I fought CeCe on the events of this evening. Please know I was forced against my will. Don’t kill anyone.

I stare at the screen waiting for the text bubbles to appear so I know he read it, but they never come. Nervously, I tuck my phone back in its place and pray to God whatever is about to happen doesn’t land Phoenix in jail by tomorrow.

“Vivi…this one’s for you.” CeCe purrs into the mic and the lights drop.

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