Page 116 of Spark

“You don’t look well,” Darren commented from across the table.

“I don’t feel well,” I confirmed. “Can I use the restroom?”

Darren glared at me for a moment, sighing through his nose before finally nodding. The warning in his eyes left me nearly shaking as I stood from the table. Hesitantly turning away, my guards followed me to the restroom, standing just outside the door as I locked myself in a stall. Thankfully, the restroom was empty, giving me the opportunity to let go.

Bending down to the floor, I threw up everything I’d just ate, my body shaking from the chills that came over me. When I was done, and my stomach was empty, I flushed the toilet and sat on the lid to regain my composure. It wasn’t long before I felt myself begin to hyperventilate, and I had no fucking clue what the hell was wrong with me. Why was I reacting like this? I was finally out in the open, free of the confines of Darren’s property, but that didn’t mean I was any less a prisoner. If anything, I was more restricted out here than I was at his home.

If I fucked up behind the closed doors of Darren’s estate, the punishment wouldn’t be nearly as bad if I had fucked up out in public. If I involved other people, they would suffer because of me, and I didn’t want to jeopardize them. There were so many opportunities to escape, so many options for me to run or call for help, but none of them would matter. The result would still be the same. I’d end up back with Darren and in deeper shit than I wanted to think about. I didn’t want to be out here. I wanted to be back in the shadows where I felt safe from my own potential self-inflicted disaster.

After a few moments of silent calm, I heard the bathroom door open, followed by the sound of laughter and chatter from two women. I quickly did my business and moved to the sinks to covertly wash my hands and rinse my mouth out with the complimentary mouthwash on the counter. Looking myself in the mirror, I noticed how pale I looked. Fuck, I was not good.

Reaching under the water, I began to rinse my hands of the soap, when another two women walked in. The small bathroom was becoming crowded, and I hurried to get back to Darren.

“Oh, my God. I love your bracelets! Where did you get them?” a high-pitched shriek of a voice came from next to me. A young woman practically beamed over my cuffs, and I quickly retracted them from the water to prevent her from noticing the tags of ownership that were inked into my skin.

“They were a gift,” I said quietly, my voice shaking. She was the first person I had spoken to in six months who wasn’t under Darren’s payroll.

“Well, you are a lucky girl,” the young woman said very matter-of-factly. “I wish my husband would treat me to gifts like those.”

If only she knew…

I ignored her and snatched a breath mint from the basket in the counter of the sink, hurrying out of the bathroom before she could observe my odd behavior further. Popping the mint into my mouth, I found myself nearly racing back to the table to prove to Darren that I hadn’t broken any of his rules. My guards actually seemed to be having difficulty keeping up with me, but I couldn’t discredit them fully. I was able to weave in and around people like no one’s business.

When I finally made it back to the table, my heart was racing, and my breathing uneven. My eyes went straight to the table, fearful to look up at Darren. I could already feel him brooding from across the table. I sucked on my mint and kept my hands in my lap as I fought to keep my nerves down. This was so fucking stupid. I didn’t understand why I was reacting like such a little bitch, but I was so fearful of fucking up out here that I no longer felt safe. It felt like a trap, like a deliberate dark trap meant to torment me with an idea that no longer existed for me. At least not yet.

“You threw up, didn’t you,” Darren finally spoke. It wasn’t a question.

I nodded, my eyes locked on the table, my body rigid with fear. I knew he didn’t like it when I threw up my food, but when it came to my nerves, my stomach held no ground. Darren cursed under his breath.

“Look at me,” he demanded.

Almost instantly, my eyes shot to his, the dark blue surrounding me and reminding me why I should be afraid in the first place.

“Do you want some air?” he asked simply.

“Yes,” I said on a whisper, trying hard not to sound like I was pleading with hm.

“Come with me,” he ordered, standing up and holding out my coat for me to slip on. I placed my arms into the coat and allowed Darren to drape it over my shoulders before buttoning it up. My hat and gloves were next while Darren buttoned his coat. He then took my hand and directed me to the doors that led to the restaurant’s wrap-around balcony. Pulling me through the doors, he motioned for the guards to stay behind inside and led me over to the railing.

Caging me in with his arms, Darren pulled me to him in a tight embrace.

“Slow, deep breaths,” he said, his voice soft and surprisingly soothing.

I did as he said, taking long, deep inhales and exhaling through my nose, filling my lungs with the crisp cold air of the mountain. After about a minute, I felt much calmer.

“Better?” he asked when I was noticeably calm.

“Yes, thank you.”

“Good. Now, what was going on back there?”

I had to release another breath before gaining the courage to answer.

“I just… started to panic. I’m not sure why.”

“Jaden, you were scared. What were you afraid of?”

I looked up to his face to find his features sincere, washed with concern. It gave me the strength I needed to answer.

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