Page 51 of Forever in the Country

On the note pad in front of Tanner I scribble,guy on the end.He nods after a minute and then returns his focus to the front.

This session is as fascinating as it is draining. Some of the speakers share stories of medical conditions, others relay traumas, before the last group of veterans speak about how having a dog has changed their life—their quality of life—for the better.

Tanner asks questions about each of the programs and what they liked and didn’t like, what we could do to improve the experience at Vetted Paws. I watch the subtle movements of each person and their dog. I see how the dog responds to its owner, both assessing and, when necessary, offering comfort and support.

Excitement floods my veins at the prospect of being able to provide this kind of support in my community—in the only home I’ve ever known. It’s heady and I start to feel the roots I’ve been longing for finally take hold.

This is what I’ve been waiting for, and I can’t wait to share it with my girl—my family.

After the session is over, we’re able to move around and talk to those willing to share their experience in more detail. While Tanner heads to an army vet with a prosthetic leg, I walk over to the man on the end with an easy expression.

“Good afternoon, I’m Sorren Mackay.” I hold out my hand and he shakes it, his grasp firm and steady.

“Dean Hagan.” He looks down at the dog in his hands. “This here is Lady.”

“It’s nice to meet you,” I say honestly, and relax at his not so guarded expression. I hate small talk, but for some reason this guy puts me at ease. “I know you said that you connected with Lady after your wife passed, but I was wondering if you could tell me a little more about your experience.”

“You’ve seen her nudge my hand.” I nod and he gives a sad smile. “My wife passed away from breast cancer. We knew it was coming, but it didn’t lessen the blow of losing her. We’d had all these plans for retirement and we never got the chance.” He clears his throat and the dog nuzzles against his hand. “I spiraled into depression fast and furious. I was angry and spent a lot of time locked in the house. The world kept spinning, and I didn’t want to be a part of it when someone so beautiful like my Ginny wasn’t there to appreciate it.”

“I’m so sorry for your loss,” I say, meaning it, and he nods.

“About six months after her passing, I was walkin’ outta the store just picking up groceries and I saw this flyer for a new shelter event happening the next town over. I can’t explain it, but I knew that I had to go.”

“How did you know Lady was the dog for you?”

“A lot of the dogs were barking when I walked in. I felt myself gettin’ worked up—like all of their anxiety was increasing mine.” He looks down and scratches the dog under her neck. “Lady was sitting with her nose poking through the gate watching me. Her tail started goin’ back and forth when I approached, and it just felt like she got it—gotme.” His cheeks heat ever so slightly.

“It looks like y’all are the perfect match.”

“She saved me.” He chuckles. “I know that sounds cliché but it’s the truth. My Ginny wouldn’t have wanted me wastin’ away in the memories and coulda beens.” He blows out a sigh. “I do this”—he waves his hand around—“because I know what I look like. I’m a big guy with a fluffy dog, but it’s her gentleness that soothes me.”

…it’s her gentleness that soothes me.

The words are like a sucker punch to the gut because dammit if I don’t understand that.

Rhea had been doing it all along. Hell, they all had. I’d gone with it begrudgingly because IknewI had to. I had to reacclimate to being in Clementine Creek and everything that came with it.

I loathed everything I loved about being there. I wanted space and quiet and privacy and Rhea had given me that. She’d been understanding, steering me gently toward the things I needed even when it was hard.

The fight we had in the bakery assaults my memory. She’d said the things I hadn’t wanted to hear, but she’d been right. I was holding on to things I couldn’t control—that were aging me because I couldn’t let them go.

“I appreciate you taking the time to talk to me, Dean.” I fish a business card from my pocket and hand it to him. “Would you do me a favor and send me an email? I think a lot of people could learn from you and Lady.” Clearing my throat, I confess, “You’ve helped me more than you know.”

He smiles as his hand brushes over the dog’s fur again. “I had a feelin’.”

We say our goodbyes and I talk to a few other people before meeting up with Tanner and heading to the last session. We had a lot to catch up on, but there was something I needed to do—someone I needed to talk to.

And more importantly, someone who deserved an apology.

22

RHEA

SORREN: You were right

RHEA: About what?

SORREN: Marlee

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