Page 47 of Forever in the Country

SORREN: I know you make me better

SORREN: And I know I love your fire—I can’t stay away

RHEA: I don’t want you to

“Why don’tyou go snuggle some babies?” Isla says and I look up at her beautiful, tired face.

“You’re an amazing mom,” I say as I reach over to squeeze her hand. She grips me back tight as her eyes water with unshed tears.

“It’s these damn hormones and I just love them so much but I’m so tired.”

“Go lie down. I’ll stay a while.”

“Are you sure? I know you came over to talk.”

I smile because I love her and I’m humbled that she’s comfortable enough to be vulnerable in this moment.

“I’m sure. Maybe we can do a girls’ dinner this week?”

“That would be amazing.”

I stand and drop a kiss on her cheek and then follow the path my brother took to the babies’ nursery.

Leaning against the doorjamb, I watch as Hank rocks Nova Jane in his arms. As much as I love being here, being with them, there’s always a pang of sadness that I feel deep in my soul. I should have told someone—anyone—but it never felt right.

Never made sense.

I’m not sure it ever will.

“You can come in, you know.” His voice is a low murmur, pulling me from the turmoil inside me, as I step onto the soft cream carpet.

“I was just soaking it all in.”

“What’s that?”

“You bein’ a dad.” I wave my hand around the soft-gray room. “I love this for you.”

He smiles and I have to brush away the tear that slides down my cheek. He doesn’t miss it, but he also doesn’t comment.

Crew fusses in his crib, so I scoop him up and sway back and forth as he snuggles his little face against me. Crew Mannings Thayer looks exactly like Hank, his middle name a namesake for Deke Mannings, the elderly gentleman Hank had befriended in high school.

Even though he’d left Hank his lake property in his will when he passed, most of us would always refer to it as Deke’s place.

“Is Isla resting?” my brother asks quietly.

“Yeah, I said I’d stay for a while.”

“Missing your man?” Hank deadpans and I shake my head with a grin.

“A little,” I concede.

“Did y’all figure out your”—he looks down at the baby in his arms and says—“stuff?”

“Yes and no.” I look up to find Hank watching me carefully. “Any pointers?”

Hank is silent for a while, his low voice still soothing as he rocks Nova. “There’s something different about the person who challenges you to be better.” His dark-blue eyes meet mine and there’s so much emotion there, so much I’ve never seen from him before. “I love our family—even thestuffthat makes me crazy. But Isla—she saw me, knew my past, and basically told me to get over myself.”

I chuckle softly. “She’s so flipping awesome.”

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