Page 20 of Forever in the Country

Hadn’t.

I was a goddamn mess and not capable of offering anyone anything right now. Not only that, but Rhea had become my haven—my safe space. She was the calm to the chaos that raged inside me.

That had been my excuse in the beginning, what I told myself over and over so I wouldn’t start wishing for things that could never be mine. But after months—years—it was just that. An excuse.

But that kiss after her friend Harper’s wedding had changed everything. It lived rent free in my mind and it was becoming a fucking problem. The cum on the shower wall was proof of that.

The wedding in Nashville, over eight months ago, had been a decent time, and I hadn’t hesitated when she’d asked me to be her date. If I’d known this would’ve been the result I would have done the same damn thing.

For her.

Because she’d asked.

I wanted to protect her, sure—it was a couple of hours’ drive from Clementine Creek and she shouldn’t have to go alone— but selfishly thinking about some douchebag with his hands on her made me see red.

She’d had a couple of drinks and hadn’t stopped touching me all night. Every touch, no matter how innocent, had lit me up inside and I’d unapologetically returned them knowing I couldn’t act on them the way I wanted to.

The contradictions weren’t lost on me. I didn’t want anyone else to have her but I couldn’t have her either.

Yet.

I couldn’t have heryet.

But fuck, that kiss.

It kept me up at night and I could feel my restraint slipping with each passing day. This morning was further proof of that, but I need more time.

Soon.

Soon I wouldn’t have to wonder what she tasted like as she fell apart in my hands.

Slamming the water to cold, I wash away my earlier transgressions and do my best to chill my ass out because it’s going to be a long fucking day and I have shit to do.

10

RHEA

Ifold the dough over again with more force than necessary as Sorren broods from the stool on the other side of the island at The Poppy Seed. I’ve been avoiding him for the last couple of days, and I don’t even know why exactly.

I’d been overcome with emotion seeing all the hard work he and Tanner had put into Vetted Paws finally coming together. He’d wanted to see me after he finished up, and I’d wanted to celebrate him and his accomplishments. But the later it got, the more I felt like an afterthought. I’d ignored his messages when they finally came because my feelings were hurt. I wasn’t his girlfriend and maybe that was the problem.

I was sick of pretending I didn’t want him. I was tired of acting like being his friend was all I’d ever need. And I was in desperate need of an orgasm that wasn’t at my own hand.

Beneath all of that, though, were feelings I’d tried to ignore. They were petty and childish but I couldn’t help it. I felt like I’d been replaced. Since starting up Vetted Paws, he’d been distracted. He spent all his time with Tanner, which made sense, but my stupid heart didn’t care. He felt like another person who’d moved on when I was still here doing the same things day after day.

That and when he was present he was growling at every guy who dared glance in my direction. I hated the tension between us almost as much as I craved its inevitable combustion. We’d survived this long, but there was no way we’d make it much longer. Not unless something changed.

“Why are you upset?” Sorren’s voice breaks the silence and I grunt.

“I’m not.”

He’s just sitting there and staring but I canfeelthe tension radiating off him. He doesn’t believe me, and not even the magical voice of Carrie Underwood can keep me in my baking groove.

As a rule—a strict rule—I don’t bake when I’m in a bad mood because, call me crazy, but I believe in baking with love and positive vibes.

And that’s not what’s happening right now.

I slam my hands on the countertop, but Sorren doesn’t even flinch as his eyes travel slowly up my body to meet mine and that pisses me off more. It’s assessing and interested and dammit… I just can’t anymore.

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