Page 45 of Broken Dreams

He cared, more than she'd ever know. He loved her. But he couldn't be the reason she stayed, she had to figure out what she wanted from her life by herself. His hopes and dreams broke into tiny little pieces.

“I care, Amber.” He willed her to see the truth. “But working with Billy made me realize how right you were. This is my job now, assisting other rehab patients like myself. I can't be the world traveler you need.”

“Don't ask me to stay here, because I can't.” She spun away, rubbing her hands over her bare arms. “I've never been outside Wisconsin. All my life I've dreamed of traveling—of seeing the world. I have to go somewhere. Anywhere.” She whirled back to face him. “I'm happy you've decided to try rehab but you can practice at another hospital. We can go to Virginia. Or somewhere else. I don't care. You pick the place and we'll go.”

“I'm not leaving.” He recoiled from the anguish he saw reflected in her eyes. In that moment, he realized she really did care for him. Despite his faults and his scars. But he couldn't change himself just to make her happy. And he would never ask her to do that, either. “I've made my decision to stay. But I think you should travel, if that's what you want. I don't blame you for wanting to see a part of the world. I was just like you, once. Looking for adventure. Just make sure you're not going for the wrong reasons.”

“What wrong reasons? Because it's always been my dream?” Her tone held unusual bitterness.

“No. Because you're using your desire to travel as an excuse to escape your family.”

“That's not what I am doing at all.” She threw up her hands. “Trust me, leaving my family is only an added benefit. The confetti sprinkles on top of my ice cream cone of independence. Traveling is what I've always wanted to do.”

The letters she'd written to Shane had stressed that very thing. And he knew she deserved to have this time to herself. To see the world. There was no use trying to talk her out of it, anymore than he'd reconsider his position.

They stood, a wide chasm between them.

With a horrible sense of doom, he handed the letter to her. “I've already emailed this to the traveling nurse company. I wanted to be sure you had a copy as well. You'll be happy to know I gave you a glowing reference. Your job in Florida is waiting for you.”

She took the letter from his hand and frowned at it for a long moment. “You wrote me a letter of recommendation?” Her voice was dull, flat. A little too much like Billy’s had been. “I thought you cared about me?”

“I do.”

“Then how can you ask me to stay?”

“How can you ask me to leave?”

A long, heavy silence fell between them.

He couldn't stand it a minute longer period he forced himself to sound enthused. “Hey, stop looking so grim. You just said this is your dream. I completely understand. You’re young and have your whole life ahead of you.” He remembered how excitement had hummed through his system when he'd been offered to do his special surgical training program in Beijing. He couldn't steal that thrill from her, now or ever.

He loved her too much.

He stood, helpless to do anything but convince her to go. “I'll be here when you come home for visits. I think you’re going to love working in Florida. And I think it’s important for you to follow your dream.”

Chapter Fourteen

Florida at the very end of July was suffocatingly hot. Humidity bloated the air and thick dark clouds loomed ominously low on the horizon. Swaying palm trees towered over the dull gray ribbon of highway. Amber peered through the window of the back seat of her rideshare—anxious to wallow in the ambiance of every sight and every sound.

She didn't want to admit her keen disappointment upon discovering that, aside from the scrub brush, palm trees, lack of green grass, and stucco single story houses in bright colors, there wasn't much to distinguish Fort Meyers, Florida from Milwaukee. With an irritated sigh, she shoved the thought aside. There were plenty of different experiences waiting for her. People, for one. Her rideshare driver, a huge guy with deadlocks who loved to chat, and spoke with a decidedly Jamaican accent, was a perfect example. There were pawn shops on every corner, something she’d never seen before. She was certain that if she tried, she'd find all kinds of excitement here.

Like the impending storm. They had summer thunderstorms in Milwaukee too, but not during the past few weeks as they’d suffered a severe drought. She was certain storms here were more impressive, especially watching them roll in off the ocean. She leaned forward to get the rideshare driver’s attention. “Does it rain here often?”

“Every day.”

Her eyes widened in horror. A white smile flashed in his dark face.

“It's our rainy season. The day generally starts out fair and sunny, but every afternoon the storm clouds move in off the ocean and we get a nasty rainstorm. But the weather blows over in a few hours.”

“How long is the rainy season?”

The guy shrugged and then shouted, “Hey!” He leaned on his horn when someone started to move into his lane. She tugged on her seat belt to ensure it was securely. The drivers down here seemed a little more reckless then back home. Lightning ripped across the sky. Booming thunder followed several seconds later.

“Depends,” he said, continuing their conversation. “But September through November is the height of our hurricane season.”

Oh. Great. She sank back into her seat with a weak smile. Hurricane season. Of course. She vaguely remembered hearing about that when she’d signed up for this assignment. Living through a hurricane would be exciting.

Maybe.

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