Page 20 of Broken Dreams

With Nick here on the unit, she felt certain Roland would have to put forth an effort. She’d have to settle for that.

Chapter Seven

Nick had never been so furious with a colleague in his entire career. He wasn't prone to violence, but if Roland hadn't stormed off, presumably to actually do his job and make rounds on his patients, he actually might have punched the guy.

A temptation that would not have done his surgeons hands any good but would have gone a long way and making him feel better.

Pushing away his anger, he stepped aside to allow the neurologist and the nurse from the stroke team to push Mr. Fisher’s gurney out of the room. Amber walked alongside, murmuring words of encouragement to her patient. He was impressed by the way she'd stood her ground with Roland. She might look like a fresh faced eighteen-year-old, all sweet and nice, but when she believed in something—lookout.

He knew one of the reasons he'd taken this role had been to stay close to her. Even if that was only for a short period of time. Oh, he still wanted to help, especially if there was a problem with patient care on the rehab unit. But the real reason he'd agreed to stay was far more complex. Amber stood a few feet down the hall, watching as Mr. Fisher was whisked away. Despite the seriousness of the situation, she turned and flashed a smile. “You were great. Thanks for being here.”

“Of course.” Her smile lit up her whole face, beaming warmth into his cold soul. He couldn't figure out how she did it, but just being in her presence made him feel better. Her patients no doubt loved her.

As Shane had? He rubbed a hand along the tense muscles on the back of his neck. Discovering her plan to move across the country had sent him reeling. He could completely understand the desire to start over someplace new. Had losing Shane factored into her decision to leave?

Most likely. His gut tightened with apprehension, and he quickly sidelined the thought before guilt could swallow him whole. Her reasons for leaving Milwaukee didn't matter one way or the other. Amber needed a friend and, as much as he hated to admit it, Shane wasn't here.

But that hadn't stopped him from arranging things so that he was.

Nick turned his attention back to the situation at hand. Roland wasn't the only physician responsible for this near catastrophe. The doctor who’d initiated the transfer off the acute care unit in the first place, was also at fault.

Not that he wanted to play the blame game. He knew full well nobody was perfect. However, this situation should be reviewed from a quality assurance perspective to prevent something like this from happening again. He went to the nurse’s station, dropping behind the closest unoccupied computer and spent a few minutes reviewing Mr. Fishers chart. Multiple phone calls later, he'd gotten the information he needed.

“Did you find out why the floor transferred Mr. Fisher?” She stepped up beside him. Obviously, she'd been listening to his phone calls.

“Yeah.” He sat back in his chair, massaging his left thigh with one hand. “The hospital is in a severe bed crunch. The resident hadn't seen Mr. Fisher since much earlier this morning, but heard how they had patients backed up in the emergency department. He basically made the decision to request a transfer to rehab, to free up a bed.”

“And Dr. Roland accepted the patient.”

“Yep. According to the resident, he gave Roland the symptoms he'd noticed earlier that morning, not anything more recent. Roland accepted the patient based on that information. As far as the resident knows, Roland never assessed the patient for himself. Or knew anything about his worsening neurologic symptoms.”

Her brow furrowed. “Roland should have looked at Mr. Fisher 's chart prior to accepting the transfer. And the nurses on the floor should have recognized how much worse he was. They should have phoned the resident to stop the transfer. In fact they should have called the stroke team, the way I did.”

Nick shrugged. “Yeah, but if they were short staffed and knew they had to make room for other patients, they may not have taken the time to assess him very closely.”

She sighed and shrugged. “I guess I can see how that could happen. At least Mr. Fischer is getting the care he needs now. I appreciate you supporting me with Roland.”

“You're welcome.” He wanted to say he'd always be there for her but of course that wasn't going to happen. Amber hurried off to take care of her other patients. No doubt the time she'd spent with Mr. Fischer had put her behind schedule.

Watching her go, Nick berated himself for being a fool. He was far too emotionally involved with Amber Monroe. Sharing dinner with her family and watching as she took care of patients certainly wasn't going to help. He needed distance. Maybe taking this temporary hospitalist role hadn't been the smartest idea. Being this close to her on a daily basis, was not helping him.

He remained seated at the computer workstation, glad for the chance to take some of the pressure off his leg. He finished typing a brief note on Mr. Fischer in the patient's electronic record, then reviewed Amber's documentation as well. She'd stuck to the facts, without implicating Roland in any way. Very professional. He was glad she hadn't been tempted to call the man out in the legal medical record. Those conversations were best had one-on-one.

He stood to stretch, and then reached for his stethoscope. His fingers closed around the tubing but the heavy weight of the bell pulled it from his grasp, and it fell to the floor with a clatter. He stared at the stethoscope lying in a twisted heap, then shifted his gaze to his numb fingers. Anger lodged in his throat. He'd been fooling himself. When he had managed to intubate Amber's patient in the rehab gym, he'd figured the nerves and muscles in his fingers were getting better. But when the stethoscope began to fall, he hadn't even realized it slipped from his fingers.

The stark truth hit hard. His hand wasn't any better.

The nerve damage was likely permanent. The nerve specialist had tried to prepare him for this, but he hadn't wanted to believe it.

Outwardly he was calm as he bent to pick the stethoscope off the floor, but deep inside impotent rage beat against his chest. He took one deep breath, then another as he walked off the unit. No use thinking about his grim future.

Thankfully Amber had a future. She was a great nurse. She deserved to be happy, to travel wherever her heart desired. To start over and live the life of her dreams. Thinking about it now, he remembered sensing and underlying longing in her letters to Shane, but he hadn't completely understood the depth of her feelings until now.

I have this crazy impulse to hop an international flight to Beijing so I can visit you. Your descriptions of China are amazing. The Shanghai open market is easy to picture in my mind. I can practically hear the people chattering in rapid fire Chinese. I'm dying to see everything for myself. Or at least to see something outside of Wisconsin. Yet, the thought of traveling alone halfway across the world is a bit intimidating. I do it, though, for a chance to see China with you.

The idea of traveling halfway around the world alone hadn't bothered him at all. Once he would have been more than ready to drop everything and take off for a new adventure.

But not anymore.

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