Page 13 of Broken Dreams

Mary’s gaze turned sympathetic. “No, I'm sad to say Mr. Goetz died about an hour ago.”

She reached for Nick and his hand closed around hers with reassuring strength as the nurse continued.

“We did the MRI and found a large brain tumor. They wanted to take him to the OR but he suffered a cardiac arrest before they could get him there. Considering his prognosis, his new tumor combined with the infection in his blood stream, there wasn’t anything more we could do.” Mary shrugged helplessly. “I'm sorry.”

Me, too, Amber thought, overwhelmed with sadness. Me, too.

Chapter Five

For a horrible moment Nick feared Amber might faint. A determined expression flittered across her face, making him realize he should have known better. She was made of sterner stuff than that. Her hand clutched his as if it were a lifeline, but she remained calm. His admiration for her rose another notch.

“Thanks for letting us know.” Her voice held a slight tremor.

“You're welcome. I just wish we had better news.” With an apologetic smile, the ICU nurse hurried off.

“Come on, we need to get out of here.” Nick tried to edge her toward the door, wishing there was something he could do to ease her pain.

“I made him go to therapy. He said he was too tired and I made him go, anyway.” she whispered. “What kind of nurse am I?”

He was all too familiar with the confusion laced with guilt likely ricocheting through her head. Hadn't he been there himself four months ago? Guilt was a powerful emotion.

“A great nurse.” He spoke firmly. “There is no way you could have known he had a brain tumor. He could have just as easily had a seizure during breakfast as during physical therapy.”

“Logically I know you're right.” Her tone lacked conviction. “I just wish I wouldn't have made him go.”

Somehow, he managed to get her out of the ICU and down the hall to the waiting room. There, he stopped and pulled her close with his good arm. “I'm really sorry that you're going through this.”

She leaned into his embrace. Her warm vanilla scent helped him ignore the flash of pain from the added stress on his injured leg. “It's okay. I'll be fine.”

He shouldn't have been so keenly aware of the softness of her body pressed against his. Despite the pain along his left side, he wanted to draw her closer still, hugging her close. Their brief embrace ended far too quickly, as she pulled away a few moments later.

“Let's get out of here.” Her voice was stronger now.

“Only if you're really okay.” He didn't mind giving her the time she needed to grieve for her patient.

“I'll be fine,” she repeated. “I did tell Roland about his headaches, though. And I wish I had pressed harder for Roland to pay attention to his symptoms.”

He hesitated, feeling compelled to point out the truth. “Even if Roland had made rounds and had known about Mr. Goetz's recent headaches, chances are he wouldn't have ordered any additional treatment. Brain tumors are extremely hard to diagnose without more severe symptoms. It's not like every person with a headache gets an MRI scan.”

She let out a heavy sigh. “I know.” She tapped her temple. “You know how nurses have gallows humor. We all make jokes about it, saying stuff like, ‘I have a headache. Hope it's not a brain tumor.’ But I still worry Mr. Goetz might have had other symptoms we missed. Symptoms a better doctor than Roland may have picked up on.”

“Maybe, but maybe not.” He longed to reach for her again, but forced himself to keep his hands at his sides. “Don't dwell on this. You did the best you could with the information you had.”

“I'll try not to.” She drew in a deep ragged breath and offered a lopsided smile, although her blue eyes were still suspiciously bright.

“Good. Ready to go?” When she nodded, he steered her toward the elevators with a gentle hand on the small of her back while leaning on his cane with the other. The heat of her skin beneath the thin scrubs, seemed to sear the tips of his fingers. Why was he suddenly so keenly aware of this woman? Any woman, really. But especially Amber, who deserved someone better than him. For years he'd been focused on his career, then after the accident, on getting back on his feet. This hyper awareness for her didn't factor into his plans. He tried to think of something to distract from his tumultuous thoughts. “Do you want to walk the couple of blocks to your parents’ house?”

“Sure.”

They took the elevator down to the first floor lobby, but once outside Amber abruptly halted mid-stride.

“Wait a minute. I'd rather stop at your motel room first.”

He nearly tripped over his cane, his heart hammering in his chest. What did she mean by that? He stared at her in shock and had to remind himself to breathe. “You do? Why?”

“Yes.” She sent him an impatient glance. “We are not walking all the way to my parents without getting your pain medication first. Last night you were in so much pain, you could barely make it home, remember?”

“Oh. Yeah.” He pulled himself together for an effort. Of course she wasn’t interested in kissing him again. It was nice that she cared about making sure he wasn't in pain. “Okay.” He cleared his throat and glanced across the street to where his motel was located. “You can wait here if you like. I won't be long.”

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