She tried again. “I can imagine working as a trauma surgeon is exciting, but there's a lot of patient death, too, isn't there?”
“Sometimes. But there's nothing like the adrenaline rush of knowing there's an unstable trauma on its way in. There's a challenge in taking someone extremely broken and putting them back together again.”
“Maybe, I can see your point. But do you know what I like most about rehab?”
Nick didn't answer.
“These patients have gotten through the worst of their traumatic injury and now they're on their way home. For the most part they’re able to communicate with me. They are anxious to learn how to take care of themselves, eager to be independent. The care here is mostly positive, building strength both physically and mentally.” She wished there was a way she could make him understand. “It’s not perfect, obviously, but I like the fact that my patients rarely die. I like knowing they're on the final leg of their medical journey, ready to make new adjustments for the reward of going home.”
He stared at her. “It’s clear you love your job as much as I did.”
She squared her jaw. He wasn't the only one who could be stubborn. “Yes, I do. But your career isn't over, Nick. Maybe you can't operate anymore, but there is so much good you can do. Look at all the wonderful things you've done as a hospitalist up here. I think the reason you're so good at this is because you understand, more than anyone, the impact of traumatic injuries.”
He was silent for so long she thought he was simply going to turn and walk away but then he finally spoke in a low voice. “So you think physical medicine is the perfect choice for a cripple like me? Sorry, but, no, thanks. I'm a surgeon and I'm not ready to give up. Excuse me, I have work to do.”
She couldn't think of a way to stop him from walking away. Even worse, she knew Nick wasn't just running from her, he was running from himself.
And she didn't know how to help him face the truth.
Nick managed to avoid Amber during the next few days. She'd had a shift off and even on the days she was working, he didn't stop to chat but concentrated on finishing his rounds.
Over the past ten days, he had noticed Roland's slacking off on his rounds. He'd set up a meeting with Rick Johnson the day before to discuss his concerns and was satisfied that the chief of staff would be issuing Roland a warning—either see his patients on a regular basis or risk having his admitting privileges revoked.
He hoped, for the patient’s sake, that Roland would pull himself together and do the right thing. Practice medicine the way he should.
Nick hadn't seen Amber since earlier that morning. Now, as the hour was close to four o'clock in the afternoon, he assumed she'd already gone home. He should have been relieved, but part of him had wanted to see her once more.
He made his way downstairs, leaving the rehab unit. Last night he'd decided his temporary job here was finished. He'd packed his duffel bag earlier that morning and requested a late checkout from his room at The Cozy Inn. The only thing he had left to do was to get in touch with Johnson personally to let him know, with apologies for the short notice, that he was leaving.
Not just the hospital, but Milwaukee. He'd booked a 9:00 PM flight. Without a real place to call home, Nick figured he'd returned to Virginia, and to the hospital where he'd worked before leaving for Beijing.
He’d finish his physical therapy, and then what? He had no idea. If he couldn't be a surgeon, he wasn't sure what he'd do.
He toyed with the idea of calling Amber to let her know he was leaving, but resisted the urge. She was the one person with the power to make him forget his plan, to turn him inside out. She'd gotten far too close, more so than any other woman he’d ever known. He knew if she asked him to stay longer, he would be tempted.
Even though he had nothing to offer her.
He thought for a moment about Shane. If Shane had lived, he would have asked Amber out upon returning home. Shane and Amber would have developed a relationship. Maybe one that would even have led to marriage. A family. Kids with cute names starting with the letter C to carry on the Monroe family tradition.
What did he know about relationships? Nothing. And he needed to figure out his own life before inflicting himself on a woman.
He walked outside, squinting in the bright sunlight. He began to cross the employee parking lot when he heard raised, heated voices.
“Do you have any idea what you've done to me, you little witch?”
“I didn't do anything to you, Dr. Roland. You did this completely on your own.” Amber's voice, steady and firm, reached his ears.
“You ruined my career.”
“Stop it! Let me go!”
Nick's eyes finally adjusted to the bright sunlight and for an awful moment he had a clear picture of Amber struggling with Roland near a fancy royal blue convertible.
He quickened his pace, limping and leaning on his cane. Before he could close the distance between them he saw Roland tighten his grip on Amber's shoulders and shake her, hard.
She cried out in alarm, shoving against his chest. “Stop it! You're hurting me.”
“Let her go,” Nick said sharply. Roland glanced his way. Amber took advantage of the moment, grinding one heel against his instep at the same time yanking free from his bruising grip.