Page 9 of Songs of Sacrament

I hesitated. Sitting here with Mother, discussing the situation, I could see a hundred things I could have done better. Telling Lira the truth was the glaringly obvious and most important one. She’d remained loyal to our team and what she’d said—that we were only successful because of her—was true too. I’d messed up in multiple ways with this job and all of them were because of my heart getting too involved.

“Thank you, Mother.”

She nodded and walked out of the chamber, leaving me with my heavy thoughts alone. There was nothing to do but go to my room and face Lira—and her anger—alone.

CHAPTERFOUR

NEIA

Elisa curledaround me as we split off from the group and walked towards our room. Saints, it was good to be home with her safe and warm in my arms as we languidly strolled down familiar halls. This palace was the only physical place I’d ever felt at home in. It was also nice that welcoming Lira was someone else’s responsibility for the moment. Keeping up with Sai was enough most days. Having to track Lira during the job had added pressure.

We reached our room and Elisa stepped in ahead of me to light lamps that illuminated her silk robes and dresses she had scattered along the backs of settees and draped over an intricately patterned folding screen.

Her pots of makeup, strings of jewelry, and hundreds of small treasures were scattered over every flat surface. Half our time in here comprised her trying to locate something. If it was just me, I’d live austerely. This room would contain a bed, half a dozen outfits, and basic hygiene implements. However,—I pushed the door shut—luckily I did not live alone. I grabbed Elisa by the waist and swung her around so she pressed against the wall as I kissed her, tasting the sweetness of her lips.

She giggled and twined her fingers into my hair, slipped her knee between my legs and nibbled along my neck. A groan rumbled through me as I stumbled a step closer only to trip over a pair of her shoes that lay in the shadows of the dark room. I kicked them gently under a table. “I swear I’m not this clumsy apart from you.”

Elisa smirked and gave her head a toss so that her coppery curls glimmered in the lamplight. Goddess, I wanted to touch and taste and hold her so badly. “Oh, that’s too bad. Maybe your clumsiness is why I’m attracted to you.”

She dashed away from me, and I yanked her waist, drawing her back against my chest and resting my mouth by her ear. “Then I lied. I’m the clumsiest fucking person you’ve ever met.”

Her laughter trembled into me, and she pecked a kiss on my mouth before shimmying free again. She pulled her dress off—thankfully not behind the changing screen—and her creamy skin revealed itself as she peeled back her dusty clothing. Freckles followed her spine like a treasure map. My fingers itched to trace over them but there was a hesitance in her posture; something wasn’t right. I kept my hands to myself as I waited until she spoke again.

“I get so tired of traveling.” Her voice held a note of sadness, but she turned to smirk at me, the curve of her breast coming into the light. “I’m afraid you’ve paired yourself with a spoiled fairy.”

“Aren’t I lucky?” I forced my eyes back up to meet her clover green ones, only to find something heavy and uncertain in them. Before I spoke, I cleared my throat. “I’m sorry we didn't discuss everything before the job. I regret that, Lis.”

We hadn’t had a chance to talk about anything. We’d spent the last few weeks running. Every job was like that, but Elisa had never expressed the hesitation she had this time. I couldn’t regret it. The job was successful. We were one step closer to having all the Prasanna heart stones retrieved. We’d restored Prince Shaan’s zevar, retrieved Luz’s damned globe, and all made it home safely. And we were that much closer to the Maharani having the ability to change me into fae so I could live as long as Elisa did.

Elisa hummed a reply but turned away again, peeling her stockings off before running her fingers through her hair. Desire washed through me. Goddess, I wanted this woman desperately. She wrapped her arms around herself. “That’s the way it is, isn’t it?”

I stepped over to her and rubbed her arm. “What do you mean?”

She turned around, the softness of her bare skin brushing my fingers. “If you had to choose me or Sai, who would it be?”

“Elisa,” I whispered and drew closer to her. “It’s not that easy. I’m doing this for us.” She’d never asked me to make the differentiation before. I’d met her and Sai at the same time. She was what had drawn me into Sai and his schemes, but my friendship with him was the second most important relationship in my life. What I wanted aside, I couldn’t abandon him when he needed me.

“Yes, but I’ve told you I’m happy with what we have now. We could stop and make a life for ourselves. Quit abusing our bodies and tempting the devil to draw us into hell sooner than necessary.”

I tucked an arm around her waist and kissed her cheek. “I can’t say where I’m going once I die or what I believe, but hell wouldn’t take you. You’re too good. You’ll probably ascend in your next life and leave me on this plane alone.”

She pressed up on her tiptoes and leaned her forehead against mine. “Do you think I want to be anywhere you’re not?”

“I don’t want that either, Lis. That’s why I keep helping Sai. Yes, I also care about him. He’s been… a brother to me. You matter more, though. If we can gather these heart stones, we can be together for centuries instead of decades.”

She sighed but kissed me then traced her tongue over my lip as she drew me closer to her body which was bare and sinuous under my hands. “Of course, love. Amyra said hot baths are waiting for all of us. I’m going to get one.”

“Okay.”

She turned and slipped through the arch and past a curtain that led to our bathing chamber. The fabric rippled and finally came to a standstill. I stood there in the shadows, in a room that smelled like Elisa and was covered with her beauty and sweetness, as the weight of her unhappiness wrapped around me.

CHAPTERFIVE

LENNOX

I leaned fartherinto my ruined mattress. Feathers flew up with the motion, slowly pirouetting towards me. Morning must have come again. I had all the curtains drawn but light seemed to seep in regardless. I raised my hands and brushed my naked neckline for the hundredth time in the last few days. With my zevar gone, I’d avoided leaving my room. My magic felt a universe away but also randomly spilling out as well.

And that was a problem.

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