Page 36 of Nineteen Seventy-Six

“I’ll be in my upstairs office,” she replied, carrying the unbearable weight of too many things as she ascended once more.

Nicolas was utterly enchanted by Charles’ rudimentary game of peek-a-boo. He’d erupt in fresh giggles with every reveal, as if the previous one hadn’t ruined the surprise forever. Each time, his utter delight transported them to a magical place, where there was only innocence and joy. Charles would live there, if he could.

Had his father played these games with him? He had no memory of it, just as Nicolas would have no memory of this. It seemed so unfair, Charles thought, that anything that happened to a person might be beyond the grasp of their memory. Your experiences belonged to you.

Nicolas would be too old for this game soon. He was a year now and already toddling around every room, looking for adventure. He didn’t want to lie in his baby rocker, with the dangling toys; he wanted to zoom around, in search of something new to do, to play with, to explore.

In the fall, when the humidity didn’t crawl over your skin, Charles would take him outside to play. He couldn’t wait to see him explore the roots of the live oaks like a jungle gym, as Charles once had. To run along the maze of gardens flanking the house, squealing as he found a new path, a new bench, a new world to make his own.

But then the door opened.

Darkness crossed the swath of light.

Nicolas’ eyes widened, and he looked past Charles now, at whatever had opened the door.

“Mama!” he cried, and Charles’ entire world dissolved.

CHAPTER 10

But There is Also Joy

Elizabeth listened to Maureen tell the story of Soren LaViolette with burgeoning surprise.

For once, a story she hadn’t seen. But what did that mean, that she’d never experienced glimpses of Maureen and her new, refreshing lover? Would it be so brief as to warrant no vision? Or was there some other reason?

She hoped, listening to Maureen, that it was merely a fluke. Her sister had found her purpose in being a mother, no doubt, but that was not the same thing as seeing her eyes flash and her smile widen so far she had trouble speaking. Maureen as a mother was a thing to behold. Maureen in love was something else entirely.

“And Edouard was completely fine with this?” Elizabeth asked, as she rocked Anasofiya. Nearby, Olivia played with her dolls in an invented language, completely enraptured with whatever storyline her young mind had dreamed up.

“It was his idea!”

Elizabeth shook her head. “Astonishing.”

“Lizzy, I tried to get him to take more interest in our marriage. When I went to him… that was the outcome I wanted! I wanted him to want me, even if he is an ugly old toad.”

“Won’t get any disagreement from me. He is an ugly old toad, and he’s no match for your sexual needs, that’s for sure.”

“Trust me, he has his own needs,” Maureen said with a strange look. “They just die once he’s done chasing someone. For someone like that, what could be worse than a wife?”

“But, through you, he has Olivia.” And someday, a son.

Maureen nodded slowly, sipping her lemonade. Augustus, of all people, had made it. He was full of strange surprises now that he was home all the time. At present, he was gardening in the back with Connor. He’d tried to take Ana, but Elizabeth talked him out of it by reminding him the sweltering humidity was no place for a little one. She did a lot of that now, searching for counterarguments that appealed to his fears. It was often the only way to get him to take care of himself, too.

“He does, and I think he’s growing fond of her,” Maureen said. “She won’t want for anything material, ever. But I worry… that when she’s older, she’ll see our façade of a marriage and know that she lives under the same illusion. You know?”

“She has you. And us,” Elizabeth said. “And Edouard might surprise you.”

“I hope he does,” Maureen said. She chewed her bottom lip. “Soren has.”

“I can see that.”

Maureen lowered her voice, as if either child had any comprehension of the conversation. “We haven’t even had sex yet, Lizzy.”

“That must be hard for you.”

“No! That’s the thing! It’s not hard at all… it’s… it’s…”

“Weird to like a guy for more than his dick?”

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