Page 49 of Undone

Leaving Nash’s arms last night was difficult. There’s nowhere else in the world I’d rather be. He makes me feel safe and cherished. Feeling like you don’t matter to anyone is terrible, and I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. Everybody should have somebody. Nash is that person for me. With him, I think I could endure anything.

As I’m getting ready to leave to meet Nash, my mom knocks on my door. I roll my eyes, “Yes?”

“Ivy, can I come in?”

I promised Nash I’d take it easy on her. Something about getting more flies with honey than vinegar. So, I say, “Yes.”

“Did you say yes?”

I fight to stifle my laughter, “Yes, mom. Come in.”

She opens the door, “Sorry, I’m not used to you saying yes.”

“I don’t have long. I’m meeting friends.”

My mom glances around the room at all the paintings, “Wow. You’ve been painting a lot. I’m so proud of you, Ivy.”

I nod, “Thank you. Why are you here?”

“Can we sit?” She asks.

I take a seat on the edge of my bed and wave to her to do the same.

“I want to apologize to you, Ivy. I have always loved you the same as if you were biologically mine. When we had the twins, I had no idea how hard life would become. I wouldn’t have changed having any of you had I known, but I do wish I had been more prepared. A child with severe autism is challenging. If I don’t get up early enough, I don’t even get a shower until your dad gets home. I was young and so unprepared for what lay ahead of me. I failed you in the process. I’m so sorry for that. I love you so much, Ivy. I know you paid an unfair price. I’m so sorry.” Then she sobs, “I want my daughter back.”

“I haven’t gone anywhere, mom. I’m still here.”

She shakes her head and twists her fingers, “No you’re not. You checked out of this family a long time ago. I hope one day you’ll forgive me.”

“Mom, don’t cry.”

Then I do what I haven’t done in years. I wrap my arms around her and hug her. “You did the best you could. I know that now.”

She hugs me tight, “What made you change your mind?”

“Nash,” I breathe.

My mom pulls away, “I don’t want to know, Ivy, because I don’t want to lie to your dad. I’m only warning you, if you’re still seeing him and dad finds out he’s going to be so angry.”

“When you were dating dad, if your father had told you to end it, would you have?”

She smiles like she remembers fond times, “He did. And I didn’t. What your father and I had, even back then, was powerful. It was stronger than those that tried to keep us apart. Nothing could have ended us.”

“That’s exactly what I have with Nash. Don’t you and dad want me to be happy?”

Taking my hand in hers, she says, “Of course, sweetheart. That’s all we’ve ever wanted for you.”

“Then let me make my own decisions. The harder you two try to keep us apart, the further you’ll push me away. That’s not a threat, it's a fact. I will never walk away from him, mom. Never.”

She sighs, “Fine. I’ll talk to your dad. I can’t guarantee anything. He’s very upset about this situation. It’s worse than it was with Aunt Elle.”

I nod, “Thank you. I have to go.”

She smiles, “Can we have lunch soon? Maybe go shopping when your dad can take a few hours off so he can take care of Riley?”

I force a smile, “I’d like that.”

Leaning forward, she kisses my cheek, “Have fun with yourfriends.”

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