Page 19 of Falling for Roxanne

“Firm is definitely the word for that stomach,” Aaron said. I kicked him under the table. “What? She has nice muscle definition. I’m a pro. I was just making an observation.”

“Right,” I grumbled. “I was just surprised to see her here because she doesn’t seem like the type to hang out in a bar.”

“And what type is she?” Rick asked. “Besides a student of yours and an intern at your law firm? If we’re talking about conflicts of interest or ethics, you’re at the wrong table, by the way. This is where the bachelors sit with their hound dog friends that hooked up with students.”

“Thanks for that,” Kyle snarked. “Students are off-limits, bro,” he said. “But in my case she was worth the trouble and then some. I don’t regret that she was in my class because I never would’ve met her otherwise. And working closely with her through the mentorship at the shelter, now I think it might have been fate.”

“I’ll second what Kyle said. Sometimes there’s no choice in the matter, but if you have the option, if you’re not already in too deep, just look the other way. Pretend you don’t see her at all. You’ll sleep better at night,” Drake offered.

“I dunno. I might sleep pretty good with that girl wrapped around me,” Rick said.

“You’re the worst,” I told him. “Please stop giving me advice.”

“You’re the one sitting here staring at a student like she’s the dessert you’re trying to talk yourself out of eating.”

“Can you stop with the analogies?” Aaron told Rick. “They’re nasty.”

“I’m not the one that’s nasty, looking at that young girl like you’d like to—”

“Enough,” I said, stopping him. “It might’ve worked for Kyle and Drake, and that’s great. But I’ve got a kid, and there’s no way I’ve got time to start some drama with a student. There’s no room in my life for that kind of thing.”

“Yeah, well, if you don’t make a move on somebody soon, your dick’s going to shrivel up and fall off from disuse,” Aaron said. “I’m a personal trainer. I know about these things.”

“You know about shriveled dicks?” I asked. “I really have to give you credit for having the courage to admit it to us.”

“Shut up,” Aaron groaned. “My dick gets plenty of action. It’s probably got callouses from overwork.”

“Now there’s a mental image I didn’t need,” Rick said. “I’m going to get the next round.”

A few minutes later, he came back with a pitcher and a bucket of hot wings.

“Some things are meant to be,” Kyle said, “but I’d think twice or three times before getting involved with your intern, Ham.”

“I’m not getting involved with her.”

“You’re looking at her like Aaron looks at the girl in the Peloton commercials,” Rick chimed in.

“She’s an accomplished trainer. And she’s internet famous,” Aaron said.

“And it has nothing to do with how she looks?” Drake joked.

“Of course not. Kyle here has trained almost all of the patriarchal bullshit out of us. We know about consent and not objectifying women. We could probably pass the Bechdel test easily.”

“That’s not—what the Bechdel test is,” Kyle shook his head, groaning.

“I know that. It was a joke.”

My gaze strayed to Roxanne a few times, but I kept my distance. I didn’t approach her or even lift my hand to wave. She was deep in conversation, talking and laughing with her friend. They had what looked like fruity drinks. I resisted the temptation to send them a round on me just to get her look up, to meet my eyes. That was the last thing I should want. Her attention, her eyes on me, her hands on me. I had to let this go, stop looking at her like someone I could ever be with.

She was the last thing I could have in this life. A younger woman, a law student taking my course, an intern at my law firm. With me, a widowed single father, older and wiser, in a position of authority above her. The balance of power was so skewed that consent was practically impossible. I wasn’t the kind of man, and never would be, who would lay a hand on a woman who felt pressured or coerced. I’d rather be alone than a manipulator, an exploiter of women.

There were men who taught at the university who used their position to dole out improved grades or preferential treatment in what was most likely a nasty quid pro quo arrangement. I’d never be like them, those contemptible ones who leveraged their power to get a woman in bed, who traded favors for sex. It made me sick to think about it, and even sicker to realize what Roxanne might think of me if I had ever suggested a personal relationship to her.

Would she have thought I was demanding something from her in exchange for the internship or a passing grade? Not only did she do excellent coursework and need no favors in the grading department, she had to know her own worth and refuse to engage in any such arrangement. Only there was the fact that her dad had been in jail, that she was raised without a father’s protection and guidance. She was vulnerable because of that. I knew it, and I’d never use that against her. But someone else might.

There was no use driving myself crazy wondering if any of her professors had tried to take advantage of her. For one thing, I’d learned from Kyle that, statistically, Roxanne had been sexually harassed at least once by this point in her life. It made my skin crawl, the fact that she’d been catcalled or pestered in a bar or at the gym, that some guy somewhere had invaded her space and ignored her wishes. I had to quit brooding on this like she was anything to do with me. She wasn’t mine to be protective of, and it was high time I got my head on straight about her.

“You’re staring at her again,” Drake remarked. “I’m just saying, as an ex-cop, you’re giving off some possessive energy right now. Maybe go get some fresh air, drink some water.”

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