Page 12 of Falling for Roxanne

“You know Marnie?” he said, deliberately casual, excitement clearly bubbling in him.

“The one who couldn’t eat carrots after she went to the dentist,” I said. “Dark curly hair, skinned knees at the winter concert.” I nodded, affirming that I paid attention.

“Yeah. She’s my girlfriend.”

“Oh really?” I said, taking a drink of my iced tea. “What do you like about her? Besides her scary dentist stories, obviously,” I said, having a little fun with him.

“She’s not even afraid of bugs at all, and she shared her Oreos with me one day when my snack was boring, and she can almost do a cartwheel.”

“I see. Brave, generous, athletic…” I smiled. “All important qualities in a woman. Is she fun?”

“Yeah, I said she’s not afraid of bugs at all! She can chase bugs with me and I robot stomp them!”

“Now there’s a romantic afternoon,” I chuckled. “We’ll have to work on your A-game before you’re old enough to date, buddy.”

“You’re kidding me,” he said, rolling his eyes. “Who do you like?”

“You!” I said. “And I’m going to eat all your toes if you don’t finish your salad.”

“Daddy! I mean what girl do you like?”

For an instant, not even a whole second, I flashed on Roxanne Park. I shook my head.

“I am way too happy hanging out with you and being your dad. That’s the most important thing in my life. I’m not looking for a girlfriend.”

“If I go out with Marnie you can come with us if you get a girlfriend!”

“So we can double date? Are we going bug chasing? Taking our women out for a good time robot stomping the ants?” I teased.

“Ice cream is a good date because you can share and have more than one kind to try and if it’s messy you use a napking and show off that you got your manners.”

“Napkin,” I said, “it’s not a king. I’m glad you use one and you have your manners though. Very important,” I said, leaning over and wiping sauce off his mouth.

“If you don’t get a girlfriend what will you do when I’m chasing bugs?”

“I can take pictures. That way you two can pose doing funny faces and stuff.”

“You’d get bored,” he accused. “Aunt J says you’re lonely and we gotta get you a woman.”

“Aunt J needs to keep her opinions to herself,” I said, rolling my eyes.

“Aunt J worries about us ‘cause we are men and don’t have a mom to take care of us.”

“We do just fine,” I said, bristling a little bit. “And you had a mom, a great one who loved you so much.”

“I want her sometimes,” he said, his voice growing soft.

My chest clenched and I felt my throat tighten. My boy missed having a mom. I knew it, but most of the time I told myself that I was enough, that we were a family, a real one, the two of us.

“I know you do. I do, too. She was so crazy about you, even when you yawned, she’d take pictures and send them to me at work because you were just so cute. Do you want to look at your baby book she made you after your bath?” I asked.

“No. I’m tired. Can I just wash up?”

“Nice try, kiddo, but it’s a school night. You need a real bath. Do you want music?”

“Yeah! Can we do Mom’s music?”

“Sure. I thought you might want to hear it. Let’s clear the table and I’ll start your bath water while you get your pj’s.”

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