Page 36 of Always Yours

“He will see that he’s wrong,” she says in a sincere tone.

“Even if he did, could I really just forgive him when he really doesn’t trust me?” I say with a sad sigh.

“You will. Everything will work out. You and Razor look at each other like you are the only two people in the world. You may not have been together long, but you can tell what you have is real. This is just a hurdle you guys need to get through,” she tells me.

“But what about Bianca? Look what happened to her. What if I am just going to end up like her; with Razor barely tolerating me?” I ask before sitting down on the ground in defeat.

“You are nothing like Bianca. She saw more between them than there actually was,” Sasha says sitting next to me.

“What if I see more to it than there is? I ask the question that I have been thinking over and over again.

“You don’t,” she says.

“How do you know that?” I ask.

She shrugs. “I think you need to see it to believe me, but that man loves you whether he knows it or not. You two will work through it. I just know it.”

I roll my eyes and push down the hope that crawls up. Maybe I need to keep my heart guarded around Derek. He obviously doesn’t trust me; what reason do I have to trust him with my heart?

“You better figure it out because here he comes,” Sasha whispers.

I turn my head to look over my shoulder and see Derek walking up with regret on his face. I shake my head and turn back to throw another knife.

“Am I right to assume you are thinking that’s my head?” Derek says with a wince when I throw another.

“Probably not the head you are thinking of,” I say with a smirk.

He cringes at the look on my face, and I raise an eyebrow at him and throw another one, hitting near the previous knife.

“I don’t know whether to be scared or turned on right now,” he admits.

“With how I feel right now, I would say be scared. I’m tempted to slice it right off so you can’t get anyone else pregnant again,” I say dryly.

“Ouch brother,” Bear says as he walks up while laughing at the look on Derek’s face.

“Shut it, brother,” Derek says through clenched teeth.

“Sasha, babe, let’s give them some time to talk,” Bear says.

She looks at me in the eyes, communicating without words. I nod that I’m fine with her leaving so I can talk to Derek. I am hoping that it will also give her the opportunity to talk with Bear about her situation.

I watch as they leave. The silence around us is unbearable, but I feel like Derek needs to be the one to speak first.

“I’m sorry,” he starts, and I scoff and shake my head.

“That’s not going to cut it. You can’t just say you’re sorry and I’ll forget everything you said. It doesn’t work like that,” I tell him.

“I know. You deserve better than what I can offer you. I spoke before thinking. I know you haven’t fucked around on me, but I just let every fear come out in my anger at the situation,” he tells me.

“You don’t think I’m afraid? That’s the difference here. I wouldn’t call you names or accuse you of things without proof. Where would I have the time to fuck another guy while also fucking you two, three times a night? I’m sorry but I’m just not that horny. I can control myself,” I tell him with a shake of my head.

“Bianca had poked holes in all my condoms. My dad had come in my room to talk to me after noticing I was upset, and we discovered that every single condom in my drawer had holes in them. I guess she wanted to be sure she was knocked up, but never took the time to take all the evidence out,” he mutters.

“I would tell you that I was surprised but, honestly, I’m really not. That woman has been obsessed with you for a lot longer than I have been around. Maybe you told her how it was, but it was obvious she thought there was more to it than you did. And then I have to wonder, am I not thinking the same thing? Maybe there is not as much to us as I think there is,” I tell him softly.

His eyes widen at my words and panic takes over his features.

“No baby, that’s not how it is. You mean more to me than you know. Our relationship is nothing like what I had with Bianca. That was just sex. What we have isn’t; it’s more.”

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