Page 59 of For the Love of Animals

The four-mile drive seemed to take forever, but we finally arrived at the Family Friends Veterinary Centre. A sign next to the doorbell said Press for Emergencies, and I held my finger down as my heart clawed its way up my throat.

Footsteps approached, and the door swung open.

“Can I help?”

I took in the man’s white coat, his strong jaw, his tousled blond hair, his raised eyebrow. Holy hell, the vet was hot.

“I, uh, I’ve got a…a…”

“A hamster?” he prompted with a hint of a Scottish accent.

“Yes! A hamster.”

“And…?”

“She’s got a lump.” A tear popped out unbidden. “Please, I don’t want her to die.”

“Okay, let’s get her into the exam room. Do you want me to take the cage?”

I handed it over and stumbled inside behind the vet, and wow, he looked incredibly nice from the back too. Handsome in a preppy kind of way. An Abercrombie & Fitch model, maybe, or possibly Ralph—

“How long has she had the lump?”

“I’m not sure. I mean, I just noticed it this evening, but I’ve only had her for two days. She was a Christmas present.”

The vet lifted poor Hammie out of her cage and flipped her over. “Show me where?”

I pointed, hardly able to look. Was I imagining it, or had it grown?

The vet’s mouth quirked up at the corners, then his shoulders shook, and finally, he burst into laughter.

“What’s so funny? My poor hamster’s tumour is hardly a humorous matter.”

“It’s…it’s not…” He couldn’t even speak through the guffaws. “It’s not a tumour. Those are his…his genitals.”

The surgery didn’t have a mirror, but I imagine I must have turned the colour of Santa’s outfit.

“She’s a he?”

“Definitely.”

“No. No way. They’re enormous.”

“Yup.”

“But if he was a human, they’d…they’d…” I trailed off. Yes, I’d embarrassed myself quite enough already, thank you very much.

“Be down to his knees?”

Please, floor, open up and swallow me.

“Could we pretend we never had this conversation?”

The vet put Hammie back in her—his—cage and gripped the sides of the table as he laughed harder.

“No way. This is the best emergency visit I’ve ever had.”

That was entirely a matter of opinion. And what made it worse, he looked even sexier when he grinned. Little dimples popped out, and I almost said something else stupid just to keep him smiling.

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