Page 20 of For the Love of Animals

He put the glass on the nearest table and leaned down to kiss my hair. Nate was far better at this charade than me, and I’d given up trying to fight it. His other hand now rested firmly on my ass cheek, and I sagged against him as I watched Grandma from across the room. She kept sneaking not-so-subtle glances in our direction, and every time she caught my eye, she smiled. How could I ruin her dream? I may not be able to get married before she left us, but the least I could do was pretend to be engaged.

The party she’d spent months organising was a bizarre cross between a birthday celebration and a living wake, with plenty of Día de los Muertos references thrown in for good measure. Pictures of my whole family scrolled past on a light projector, sugar skulls jostled for space between balloons and piñatas, and someone had put a book of condolence on one end of the buffet table. What kind of man would want to marry into this insanity for real?

Pasqual arrived, and Teo had obviously filled him in on the deception because he gave my shoulders a squeeze.

“Thanks for doing this. I’ll organise the flowers for your wedding, free of charge.”

Pasqual owned a florist, the biggest one in town, and over the last year, his floral arrangements had grown popular among celebrities. He was talking about opening more branches, but I could lighten his load a little.

“We’re only pretending to be engaged to save your ass,” I hissed.

He looked sideways at Nate. “Si, of course. I mean when you eventually do get married.”

Why bother wasting my breath? Words were becoming more difficult now, as was standing up, and I just wanted to get the whole stupid, embarrassing proposal over with. Someone behind me tapped a glass with a knife, and I jumped and stumbled, but Nate kept me on my feet.

“Looks as if your grandma wants to make a speech.”

Maravilloso, just when I thought things couldn’t get any worse.

“I’d like to thank you all for coming today,” she started, beaming at everyone in the room and looking remarkably healthy for a lady with five days to live. “After my Francisco passed, I thought my heart would never heal, but it was then that I learned the true meaning of friends and family, and to have you here celebrating the little time I have left makes the chest of an old lady swell with joy…”

The ring burned against my palm, a tiny torture device waiting to unleash its full force. Could I really go through with this? Perhaps I could pretend there was an emergency at work? A shortage of beef or a quality-control issue with tortillas. Or I could leap into my car, drive to the airport, and get on the nearest plane. At least, I could if I hadn’t been drinking. Right now, I’d probably crash into the lamp post fifty yards down the road. Plus there was a small technical glitch in that my car was still parked outside Nate’s apartment.

Oh, hell. The whole room had fallen silent, and worse, Grandma was staring at me expectantly. This was the moment, wasn’t it?

“You okay?” Nate mouthed.

No, but I dropped to my knees anyway, which put me at eye level with the not-insignificant bulge of Nate’s crotch. I licked my lips in an unconscious gesture then realised what I’d done. The horror! Nate had noticed too, and that grin was back.

Fuck, I just needed to get this over with so I could die quietly of shame somewhere. Only Grandma’s look of rapture made me carry on.

“Nate, I realise this is crazy, but I am crazy, so I guess it fits, and from the moment this idea was planted in my head, it’s grown and grown and now it’s huge…” Don’t look at his cock, Carmen. “But I need to ask you because I know how much it means to Grandma, and how much you mean to me, and…” Stop waffling. “Will you marry me?”

“Of course I will, querida.”

He hauled me to my feet, and I found myself plastered against him, which was a good thing and a bad thing. Good because my knees would have buckled otherwise, and also he felt warm and strong and kind of comfortable. And very, very bad because Grandma was hopping around like a madwoman and now she had a freaking camera.

“Kiss each other! We need pictures! You two make such an adorable couple.”

Kiss him? No, I definitely hadn’t thought this one through, had I?

Only Nate’s lips were coming towards mine, all soft and smoochy, and his tongue too. Okay, that actually felt nice. Cheers erupted as I kissed him back, but then I came to my senses and so did my stomach.

“Let me go!”

I tried to push him away, but there were people everywhere and I couldn’t move or swallow or breathe.

“I’m gonna be sick,” I mumbled.

Then I was in Nate’s arms, in the hallway, in the bathroom, and he held my hair back as I vomited a month’s worth of tequila into the toilet. Well, wasn’t that the perfect metaphor for my fucked-up life?

Where was my damn gun?

CHAPTER 8 - NATE

CARMEN STIRRED IN Nate’s arms, and he started a mental countdown.

Ten… Nine… Eight… Seven…

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